I came to the office today wearing a low cut v neck t under a sleeveless jeans dress that shows my cleavage as much as is acceptable in our work environment. My blue eyeshadow leaning a little more toward the Friday night shade then the Tuesday morning. I am still in confortable shoes and wearing my white "grandma" underwear (i almost never wear a thong) ....but for waking up just 10 minutes early today I think I got the most from my mirror time, and from the sound of the compliment I got in the office from one of the guys who said "I am ready to go drinking with you right now and it's not even 10:00 am," I feel like I got the look that would give me the best shot and getting picked up in a bar BEFORE last call ....that is if I were still the kind of girl that went to bars like that. LOL
It's not for the men who noticed I dressed up.
It's for Denise...and today is one of the days she is in the office where I work for a brief period ..and as busy as I get ..and she gets...we might not have a chance to talk hardly at all. But I have been thinking about her constantly since I last saw her Friday ... running through my mind the things we have said and the looks we have exchanged and wondered if there is a chance for her and I to be something.
I am not fantasizing about our time in bed, if it gets to that...I keep thinking over and over how I can find out IF she is interested...and how I might be a little more , shall we say, agressive, than I have ever been in making that a possibility. I have never been one to make much of any overture to a woman in person ...which is why I have had so MUCH desire with so LITTLE actual F2F experience. Should I try an obviously sexual touch, a direct comment, a note, a barrage of double entendre ... or a continuation of the snails pace "wonder if that was something or not" flirtations that have gotten me thinking about her so much. OR ..A phone call ...which I wrote about on my blog.
And now that I have thought about her so much, and written about her so much, and helped to crystalize my fantasies ...in fact....Denise has become more than a fantasy over the past few days..I won't call it an obsession ..but my desire for her has me planning, and maybe even setting being with her enough of a goal that I realize I might be dissapointed if the romance were to fizzle. For right now though...the MAIN thing is to find out if their is even the POSSIBILITY of something ..I just have to be sure.
And in the course of now writing about her and thinking about her a little more focused and a little less in the fuzzy , masturbatory state that had been the character of my imagination .... I realize that I like her a little bit more than i thought I did. I was in a state of distancing myself from her in case of inevitable turning down of my affections ... but I am realizing more and more that for maybe only the second time in my life, my general "lesbian" wants and needs are now focused more on an individual, than in the abstract.
So ...I am dressed for her, I am have perfumed for her and each time I walk throught he lobby I steal a gaze toward the parking lot to see she has arrived yet.
I guess there have been three moments the past two weeks that have me believing I can take another step with a little confidence ...that maybe just maybe she wants something to happen too. Each in and of it's own..probably nothing...but there is , firstly, the way that she is making eye contact with me like nobody does when we are talking. There is work talk, and that's just that ....and at those times of talking about work, I feel like she is trying to "learn" all I know and even wanting a bit to trade places with me...it feels a bit like admiration..which is very nice of course....but with anything personal in conversation ...about my son, my family, my personal time, and it's like she just tunes me in ....it's even almost like she sees my hurt and wants to fix it. See..I kinda know that look ..because that is the way I am to others ...and what everyone says about me ....but I can't remember thinking I had found a spark of that something in someone else that has been what has long lurked inside of me.
Next is the way she is turning almost every conversation we have that is just the two of us into some kind of sexual innuendo or remark. She isnt the first person to say to me "I'll try anything once," but you can add to it ..lets see ..." I bought those plates at walmart because the fruit on them reminded me of sex for some reason....(laughs) dont ask me why cause I couldnt tell you but I am buying china and getting horny." Then there was the several references to getting laid ..which led to what she said last Friday, standing in the doorway of my office ..she said something that made me laugh nearly hysterically ...telling me "someones jeans were so tight you could see her twat" ..and I cant remember thinking how funny that word was and I busted out laughing so hard at just the way she said it and the way she looked when she did, so I said back to her "oh how you can always make me laugh.I love your sense of humor" and she said back "well maybe it will help me get laid sometime." And I thought.."now was that for me?????" did she mean me??? or just in general ..hmmm"
Then I have run over and over this moment we had ....we have an oversize stapler that sits at my desk...and two weeks ago she was changing the staples in it..its old so its not always easy ...and to do it she was bending over ...leaning forward and towards me and I didnt see all the way to her nipples..but most of the rest of her breasts were there and soft, smooth, and inviting to me. She isn't largely endowed...but at that moment they were hanging beautifully and my jaw dropped open ...I felt a zing go through my body and when she looked up in frustration from the task at hand she DEFINITELY noticed and sort of gasped ...then quickly and modestly ...but as if to not be making a big deal of it ...covered herself up. Since then there have been two times when it at least felt like she was "trying" to see if I would notice her if she bent over or leaned forward. ...and by the way...the answer is yes. But in both of these instances ...we made no eye contact ..and it could have been accidental...however it felt so accidental and unplanned that it seemed purposeful ..if that makes sense.
SO ..its definitely POSSIBLY in my imagination...I need more proof right ? ANd I am soooo shy as that I have only made one offline , in person pass at a woman that I was unsure of whether or not she was interested..and she turned me down...however politely ..it is still one of the most hurtful things that ever happened to me. I will write about her sometime.
So today in my jeans dress ...hoping she will notice ...and I ..well endowed...am planning on making a damn fool of myself if I get the opportunity. Today I would have about pulled a tit out to say "notice this ?" if I had had the chance LOL.
I have the hugest crush on her....can you tell by reading this ? Well...she noticed me ..and I am feeling ever more confident in making some kind of move. We had avoided any contact in conversation in the two hours she had been there..its just a busy time...but before she left..she walked by my office...I was in conversation with someone..our eyes met..I even felt my nipples get hard, which is not a common reaction for me ...and she walked on..she was waiting..perhaps in just a friendly way, not a sexual way mind you I know, to get to me one on one. That moment arrived and she popped her head in the door.
I jumped like a schoolgirl..."hey Denise..I have missed you so much....havent had a minute to even say hi."
"Well you look great....that really works for you...."
"Thank you....Denise ( i giggled) I did it all for you you know !"
"I dont believe that for a minute."
"...... well...theres alot I'd do for you ...if only you'd ask" I said as I leaned to the back and to the left in my chair to scratch an imaginary itch for no other reason but to show as much of my cleavage as her eyes would drink in ....I felt a bit of a shiver as I realized that I was being about as bold as I ever get ....pulling moves on a woman I have only before used on men. Down I looked at the floor and then up towards her eyes to see if she noticed...she did, based on the nervous fidget and staring at the floor ..then back at me with a smile. A moment of silence before I asked..."are you back here tomorrow?" ....."no..not til Friday"
"Well...Think good things about me til then Denise"
"I always do Brenda"
It's not for the men who noticed I dressed up.
It's for Denise...and today is one of the days she is in the office where I work for a brief period ..and as busy as I get ..and she gets...we might not have a chance to talk hardly at all. But I have been thinking about her constantly since I last saw her Friday ... running through my mind the things we have said and the looks we have exchanged and wondered if there is a chance for her and I to be something.
I am not fantasizing about our time in bed, if it gets to that...I keep thinking over and over how I can find out IF she is interested...and how I might be a little more , shall we say, agressive, than I have ever been in making that a possibility. I have never been one to make much of any overture to a woman in person ...which is why I have had so MUCH desire with so LITTLE actual F2F experience. Should I try an obviously sexual touch, a direct comment, a note, a barrage of double entendre ... or a continuation of the snails pace "wonder if that was something or not" flirtations that have gotten me thinking about her so much. OR ..A phone call ...which I wrote about on my blog.
And now that I have thought about her so much, and written about her so much, and helped to crystalize my fantasies ...in fact....Denise has become more than a fantasy over the past few days..I won't call it an obsession ..but my desire for her has me planning, and maybe even setting being with her enough of a goal that I realize I might be dissapointed if the romance were to fizzle. For right now though...the MAIN thing is to find out if their is even the POSSIBILITY of something ..I just have to be sure.
And in the course of now writing about her and thinking about her a little more focused and a little less in the fuzzy , masturbatory state that had been the character of my imagination .... I realize that I like her a little bit more than i thought I did. I was in a state of distancing myself from her in case of inevitable turning down of my affections ... but I am realizing more and more that for maybe only the second time in my life, my general "lesbian" wants and needs are now focused more on an individual, than in the abstract.
So ...I am dressed for her, I am have perfumed for her and each time I walk throught he lobby I steal a gaze toward the parking lot to see she has arrived yet.
I guess there have been three moments the past two weeks that have me believing I can take another step with a little confidence ...that maybe just maybe she wants something to happen too. Each in and of it's own..probably nothing...but there is , firstly, the way that she is making eye contact with me like nobody does when we are talking. There is work talk, and that's just that ....and at those times of talking about work, I feel like she is trying to "learn" all I know and even wanting a bit to trade places with me...it feels a bit like admiration..which is very nice of course....but with anything personal in conversation ...about my son, my family, my personal time, and it's like she just tunes me in ....it's even almost like she sees my hurt and wants to fix it. See..I kinda know that look ..because that is the way I am to others ...and what everyone says about me ....but I can't remember thinking I had found a spark of that something in someone else that has been what has long lurked inside of me.
Next is the way she is turning almost every conversation we have that is just the two of us into some kind of sexual innuendo or remark. She isnt the first person to say to me "I'll try anything once," but you can add to it ..lets see ..." I bought those plates at walmart because the fruit on them reminded me of sex for some reason....(laughs) dont ask me why cause I couldnt tell you but I am buying china and getting horny." Then there was the several references to getting laid ..which led to what she said last Friday, standing in the doorway of my office ..she said something that made me laugh nearly hysterically ...telling me "someones jeans were so tight you could see her twat" ..and I cant remember thinking how funny that word was and I busted out laughing so hard at just the way she said it and the way she looked when she did, so I said back to her "oh how you can always make me laugh.I love your sense of humor" and she said back "well maybe it will help me get laid sometime." And I thought.."now was that for me?????" did she mean me??? or just in general ..hmmm"
Then I have run over and over this moment we had ....we have an oversize stapler that sits at my desk...and two weeks ago she was changing the staples in it..its old so its not always easy ...and to do it she was bending over ...leaning forward and towards me and I didnt see all the way to her nipples..but most of the rest of her breasts were there and soft, smooth, and inviting to me. She isn't largely endowed...but at that moment they were hanging beautifully and my jaw dropped open ...I felt a zing go through my body and when she looked up in frustration from the task at hand she DEFINITELY noticed and sort of gasped ...then quickly and modestly ...but as if to not be making a big deal of it ...covered herself up. Since then there have been two times when it at least felt like she was "trying" to see if I would notice her if she bent over or leaned forward. ...and by the way...the answer is yes. But in both of these instances ...we made no eye contact ..and it could have been accidental...however it felt so accidental and unplanned that it seemed purposeful ..if that makes sense.
SO ..its definitely POSSIBLY in my imagination...I need more proof right ? ANd I am soooo shy as that I have only made one offline , in person pass at a woman that I was unsure of whether or not she was interested..and she turned me down...however politely ..it is still one of the most hurtful things that ever happened to me. I will write about her sometime.
So today in my jeans dress ...hoping she will notice ...and I ..well endowed...am planning on making a damn fool of myself if I get the opportunity. Today I would have about pulled a tit out to say "notice this ?" if I had had the chance LOL.
I have the hugest crush on her....can you tell by reading this ? Well...she noticed me ..and I am feeling ever more confident in making some kind of move. We had avoided any contact in conversation in the two hours she had been there..its just a busy time...but before she left..she walked by my office...I was in conversation with someone..our eyes met..I even felt my nipples get hard, which is not a common reaction for me ...and she walked on..she was waiting..perhaps in just a friendly way, not a sexual way mind you I know, to get to me one on one. That moment arrived and she popped her head in the door.
I jumped like a schoolgirl..."hey Denise..I have missed you so much....havent had a minute to even say hi."
"Well you look great....that really works for you...."
"Thank you....Denise ( i giggled) I did it all for you you know !"
"I dont believe that for a minute."
"...... well...theres alot I'd do for you ...if only you'd ask" I said as I leaned to the back and to the left in my chair to scratch an imaginary itch for no other reason but to show as much of my cleavage as her eyes would drink in ....I felt a bit of a shiver as I realized that I was being about as bold as I ever get ....pulling moves on a woman I have only before used on men. Down I looked at the floor and then up towards her eyes to see if she noticed...she did, based on the nervous fidget and staring at the floor ..then back at me with a smile. A moment of silence before I asked..."are you back here tomorrow?" ....."no..not til Friday"
"Well...Think good things about me til then Denise"
"I always do Brenda"
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