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A Vivid Lesbian Correspondence

A Vivid Lesbian Correspondence

So...when I started this blog, which is really the second attempt I made at something like this, I enjoyed giving advice to some women in sharing my point of view and experience. I have been the bi married mom advice chick for quite a few very friendly and warm women. Today I am sharing with you the first of two interesting letters I got from this tremendously insightful woman who also has quite a way with words. In this first correspondence, She tells about her life and what got us to here....and you have to know that I do not get paid for this payment is the feedback I get...and THIS is a bonus payday when I get someone who shares such as this annonymous lady with a beautiful soul I will comment along the way. It is in her second letter where SHE becomes the advice giver, and I have to admit that in that letter she realllly gives me alot to think about ..I will share that on here within a week. The advice giver will be getting her wisdom !

I am writing to share with you how much I enjoy your blog, as your stories are wildly imaginative. Although there are other blogs by women who share their fantasies, what compels me most about your blog is the personal narrative you expose about your life. I fully empathize with your situation i.e. "closeted, married mom and bisexual living in the Bible Belt. My own situation at one time was somewhat similar to yours, as I lived a married closeted life with a child while serving in the military. My sexual coming of age with women occurred after I had been married for many years, but the closeted nature of my life and the danger of being outed was a life of soulless misery. Although I loved my husband, there was always some part of me that desired women even before I knew what that desire was.

We are similar ..but not exactly the same. I knew that I was bisexual at about the age of 12....didn't act on it til I was 18 in reality, but I had resolved in my mind that there was no doubt ..once I understood what bisexual was, I had no doubt that it was me. About my husband, I decided long ago that I would not write at all about what happens with us ...but just this once I will share this much. We exist more as roomates ...not to say that there is no sex...but it is really void of passion and affection on both of our parts. I can't say I am ready to be on my own because truly, staying with him has more benefits than not....that I believe if I make this major life change, it is souly because of my sexuality ...I am not yet ready to let my pussy dictate what would change in so many lives....maybe someday the story will play itself out...right now, I remain the clest married mom in the bible belt, as she indicates.

Like you, I also concocted sexually explicit visions of being with women in my fantasies. The faceless women of my dreams became so overwhelming where I felt that I could no longer survive. Nighttime and the dreams of sleep were my only solace. These dreams where where I envisioned myself being ravished by women, or where I was the ravisher. These fantasies became my only source for sexual release. I hated the morning and awakening from sleep since this meant leaving the women of my secret desires. It became a chore to just get out of bed.

My friend here articulates exactly what it feels like for me. I appreciate her way with words in expressing what is the living in two worlds experience...the real world, and the one of desires which is so nice to visit...but needs to be colored sometimes with the reality of a woman's kiss.

Emotional and sexual frustration, as you might well know, can have devastating consequences. These consequences, took a toll on my marriage because I could no longer live a lie, particularly as a fully functional and sexual wife to my husband. Fantasizing sexually about woman became the only way I could get through the sexual act with my husband. It was not fair to him or to me. I felt terrible in my emotional infidelity and later my physical infidelity; but the drive to physically be with a woman was something I could no longer ignore or control. Yes, the deception was frightening, but the risk to finally be with a woman overwhelmed the risk.

I can relate totally to this part ... whatever my husband and I do, since it includes orgasms, (mostly his), it somehow must be considered sex...but long gone frankly is the spark ...and now I can say that so distant is the memory of fantasizing about him or any other man, that I have about forgotten what a sexual crush on a man is like. It is all about women for me in my mind, if not in my day to day life.

I still remember that first time I consummated my desire. It was the most natural and physically satisfying sexual encounter I had ever had. Being with men was no comparison. Navigating the body of a woman was a flawless right of passage.

I remember how I thought and worried so much how it would be awkward or unfamiliar ..and yes it was a new thing...but once the initial butterflies settled down, still nervous of course and apt to say the dumb thing, I still realized very very quickly that it felt like I was born to be where I was.

I was ready and I instinctively knew what to do. I had envisioned that moment repeatedly in my head for so long. When the moment happened, it felt more than natural. Being in the embrace of a woman was where I was supposed to be - I knew that the touch, the feel, the smell, the sound of "Woman" beat inside my heart and consumed my mind. This could no longer be changed or denied.

I comment here that I can of course relate the the feelings she describes...but I am most impressed with her way with words. I am truly zinged when I read that !

I now live happily in the knowledge and power that my life is mine to choose. I am no longer conflicted. Although I am no longer partnered with either a man or a woman, I am happy in the resolve that I have peace and the freedom to love whomever I choose.

I could write more, but i won't as I have probably written too much already, as I am sure you have other responder comments to read. In the age of the Internet, you blog will possibly help other women who are in transition. For years I thought about openly articulating the sexual passion between women your blog expresses, but I had to work out my catharsis in other ways. Keep writing and be well.



THANK you D ...and D sent me another correspondence I will soon share as well ...a little more detailed. Let me add that it meant alot to me that She shared this with me...but also was willing to share it with others on this blog. I felt less alone after reading her words her next note she challenges me to deeply consider the who I am and how I am going to be who I am aspect of my life. As they say...stay tuned.

Lesbian Cartoon Characters

According to straight people who were surveyed, the most probably lesbian cartoon characters are, in order, Peppermint Patty, Rainbow Brite, Velma, Catwoman, and Josie from the Pussycats. Lesbians were asked the same question and came up with Peppermint Patty at number one (apparently no hiding it Chuck), Daria, Dora, and then something I can relate to of course, in for all the bi married moms like me, Betty & Wilma ...(I only wish I lived next door to a lover ). More information at Stuntdoubles blog at afterellen.

Lucy Liu is Bisexual ...duh

"I think people sometimes get the wrong impression when they're like, 'Oh, well, so-and-so was straight and then she was gay, and now she's straight again,' you know? But it's like, how many times do I have to kiss a woman before I'm gay? Everybody wants to label people. Sometimes you just fall in love with somebody, and you're really not thinking about what gender or whatever they happen to be. I think that if I happen to fall in love with a woman, everyone's going to make a big deal out of it. But if I happen to fall in love with a man, nobody cares."[

Female Self Pleasure IS Lesbian Sex -- A Masturbation Update - Coloring

Masturbation Update

A very funny moment in Sex In The City Movie...

Samantha says: "I can't color enough, I would color all day every day If I had my way, I would use every crayon in my box"

Everyone's masturbation experiences are different..

I just went through a year when I didn't seem to have time, privacy, or energy to color libido returned with vengeance lately, and a few real life women inspired me to go along with the other turn ons that get the juices flowing .... So I gleefully report to the faithful readers of this blog and the welcome passers by that I am coloring an awful lot lately ..and I am enjoying it more and more.

Sometimes this blog is my sexual confessional ...and I always say things with honesty here that I would never ever say to a friend in anyway that I can imagine this coming up in real conversation...even in a discussion of Carrie and Samantha's conversation. For you, this is my masturbation update.

First of all, finding time and privacy is paramount for me .. usually in the mid-morning or mid afternoon, or both if possible if I am fortunate enough to have a weekday off from work. As I have written here before, I see these holes of availability in my schedule sometimes days in advance...and I just will be telling myself..."just get to Thursday Morning when you don't have to be to work til 11:00am." ...or "I get off at 1:00 pm Friday ...should give me two hours til I have to pick up my son." The anticipation builds til these fact, even if I am completely exhausted ...I somehow get a second wind ...If I have a morning to myself, it becomes the last thing I think about before sleeping and the first thing when I wake ...and if I am returning from work in early afternoon, as I wrote on here before, the fingers begin to dilly dally even in the car.

I bought a vibrator to get off with probably before just about anyone else in my school did. I am so normally very shy and one not to take chances...however, I had been in spencers gifts just too many times looking at those "love enhancers" in the naughty section just way too many times not just to HAVE to try it...I guess others in high school might have found their moms...but if anyone else actually bought one ...nobody said a word. I will never forget the fear jump that went through me when the woman at the counter asked me "do you want batteries with that?" I just wanted to buy the damn thing while hiding my embarrassment, not get questioned about my age, adn get the hell out. I write all this to say that I went through a couple of times in my life where the vibrator was THE THING...I used it, my guys used it on was always around...and without my first vibrator, the day where I watched a lesbian porn tape and diddle alll day long to more than 20 orgasms would not have been possible. And yet I say alllll this about vibrators while knowing it will surprise I think quite a few women to know I just don't prefer a vibrator anymore...and almost never use one...maaayyyybe once a month. Feels good of course...great in fact...but for several years my self pleasure has searched for more in the lingering and building up to the big ones rather than the guaranteed fast and furious fireworks from mothers little helper.

I actually own two vibrators...however one is the workhorse so to speak while the other one I seem to have delegated to keeping in the drawer and using only if the other one would catch on fire ...then again, shouldn't I mention that a time or two it could have combusted from the heat and friction my self passion was generating ? The one I use is a purple 3 inch pocket rocket that I pretty much roll around my clit...spreading my lips with the other finger tickles and teases around the lips ...rarely up to my nipples ...mostly sliding in the wetness but always soon just pretty much landing upon my clit where it dutifully does what it does and does it well as always. I put it there...I know if I put it there I will come...its good, it happens...and it lets my imagination fly with the multitude of lesbian images and erotic thoughts that seem to move much faster when the vib is engaged. I have to admit that I am a bit of a moaner as I have been told, and I am not much less of one when it is just me...but with the vibrator...its less noise from me, but more...I should admit that it's ALOT more shaking and quaking when the orgasm comes using the vib. It's almost an olympic skill to keep the vibrator up against me in just the right way at the point when I lose the control of how my hips are going to thrust and writhe....but with so much at stake...I keep that thing on my button where it needs to be and finish it off to the end. The thing I will add about my vibrator experiences, before moving on, is that when ive come as much as I am going to come...if itsonce or twice or three times on occassion...the use of the vib leaves me feeling full and engorged and like I need something else...something just doesn't always seem let go enough...and I cant get there and "get it all out" with the vib. It's kind of hard to describe, but I wanted to share it in case its your story and you wondered if you were the only one.

So..thats the vib story...but its not the most usual way.

When I make myself come, almost always am in the bed. The couch has been involved a few times and a recliner as well, but I am someone who usually creates a wetspot, so there needs to be some planning about what to do about that if I am on the living room furniture. The chair at the computer is involved....oh yes of course..(and you DO know why or you wouldnt be reading this) ,,but I have trouble coming while sitting up ...too much work...wo what happens at the computer tends to be one of the inspirations for what happens elsewhere...and as I mentioned, that is usually in the bed.
About half the time I am laying on my back...I guess this is the classic position. I wrote about my first masturbation experience in another blog post, where my rubbing against the pillow I was pretending to be a boy I loved, became my first orgasm while laying on my back and just rubbing myself with the pillow which no longer really represented that boy anymore..I just never had felt anything that good. No pillows these days, but if I am propped up high enough on the pillows when I start I can slink down if I want to, or stay upwards to observe my hands and fingers, and my self breast play is more enjoyable if I am a bit propped it seems. Something to know is that by the time I am climbing into the bed to do this, I have already had much, if not more than much foreplay and getting to the point of wanting to take myself there to finish what has begun. If I am "starting from scratch," so to speak, a favorte pasttime is to lotion my shoulders, arms, breasts, and legs to relax my body while letting my mind wander about not just mine, but in general, a woman's form.

The other half of the time in bed, I go at it by reaching under myself while laying...I should say writhing ...front side down on the sheets. My knees will lift me sometimes more than other times...but for the most part...face down, I think it's the contact with the sheets and pillows my boobs and even the sensation upon my face that helps me like this way the best. By comparison, it may take me a bit longer and a bit more concentration in technique to get there in this position, but for me, the big one (the first one) is bigger this way. Penetration is not really my thing in masturbation...I am involved with alot more than just my clit, but I just don't find or never have found the act of simulating intercourse a stimulating way of pleasure for me. I know, especially from my lesbian experiences, that I am the exception in this department...and even though it really isn't my thing, I know to look for the ways to fill a woman the way she needs.
Having said that, it is in this face down position that I actually do more often get deep into myself with a couple of fingers coloring is "outside the lines" more this way...probably the reason its so good ...but thats not just a statement about how my pussy reacts to the techniques I am using, but somehow my mind is more into it this way...I am thinking about her, or her, or the other her, or the her I haven't met. I am thinking about the vid I just saw, the love we made or the love I want to make. Most of my minds thoughts in any masturbatory experience are about the seduction, the "how does this happen" and the making out and cuddling I fantasize or reminisce about. What gets me there in my mind is thinking about the things I do and want to do with my lips, tongue, fingers, skin, and passion. I dream of creating her pleasure ..and the more I feel that in my fantasy, the more my pussy responds to what my mind is enjoying.
With one hand I spread the lips with my ring and index finger and flick myself with the middle finger...If I use two hands, one can spread the lips while two or three fingers can slowly diddle, twirl and tickle...or furiously fly up and down in the moments before it comes. I love to use my palm to push the lips over the hood of my clit ....a feeling that gets to some nerves and pleasure feelings that go pretty deep inside both body and soul. I sometimes curly my pinkie and encircle my stiff clit ...and just hold it like this for a few seconds...stopping the motions. Sometimes I use a knuckle on my pinky or middle fingerto provide a rougher sensation for a few strokes....feels good but its like a hill for the roller stops where the coaster was going, takes a turn, and gives you something else to feel until the loop to loops start again. If I am on my back, every minute or so I need to clutch and massage my breasts. I rarely lift a nipple towards my mouth ...when I do, its because the fantasy I am working through demands that I feeeeel what that part of the fantasy feels like. Generally speaking though, sucking my own nipples is more effort than the pleasure gotten from it. I will pinch them some times pretty hard before rubbing out the ping of that pain. I will dig in my nails to the soft skin of my breast or the inside of my thighs for a little zing before I rub out the tingle in warmth. Just a couple of patterened distractions before returning to the build up of my explosion. So...its palm and finger ..spread and diddle...infinite variations of pressure and speed and numbers of digits involved..and exact positions of thighs and pointed toes and lifted legs or on my knees height. So many things to think about and write about, but as I know you know, NONE of this is being thought of when its being done, right ? It's just over and over, oooh thats nice and that too, and this as well ...whats next....all the while the mind is painting the experience with its hopes, desires and memories.

Lately, Ive had some incredible recent memories to draw on while masturbating...thinking of the things we did, or that I want to do, or maybe finding a point in our experiences where maybe next time when we get there perhaps we will do this :) My strongest inspirations for horniness lately have been the incredible women that have made me feel so wanted and desired as I desire them. Two have become lovers, I believe the other will at some point when our schedules fit, and the real life experiences are the biggest inspirations of my masturbation ...but I must also share, or re-share the other inspirations as well.

The websites that I most enjoy looking in on to get the juices flowing are youtube ...yes THAT youtube, on which you find an endless supply of lesbian passion ...clothes still on. For clothes off, I rely on two free sites, tube8 and youporn ...although with these it is harder to find what is mandatory for me, actresses who are into what they are acting (ie: not just getting paid). Now I know that there are proably quite a few more free sites with lesbian vids on them, but I never need to search much more than this. I used to draw inspiration from chatting ...I don't have the time as much as I used to, and I almost never have the chance to meet someone local anymore that way, unless I am missing something. I also get wet and warm when searching for pictures of women kissing passionately ...some of these and some of the ones I vidcap myself end up on this website. For more intellectual stimulation before masturbation, I enjoy the lesbian stories at the erotic webiste that I had contributed a couple of stories to. (I have also had things rejected because of the free / loose style I write in) And of course, I have found a few lesbian blogs that get to me when they share with honesty, but again I must state, that I have not come close to finding a blog like mine...I give myself a few points for originality here. ...(maybe not quality..but originality ! )
And so, to bring this chapter of my sexual confessional on masturbation to a close, you must know that writing this, knowing you will read it, knowing you may write me to let me know what you thought, gets me off everytime. If you didn't know, or wondered, of course I am wet when I write this and ...of course I am taking a few seconds here and there to touch it and "keep it going." It makes me horny to write this, but nothing probably gives me more of a thrill than getting an honest response matter how short or long..from you .

This entry is more blog, less erotic fantasy (sorry). Please read anyway.

This is more of a journal entry to share with any regular visitors let you know that alot is happening sexually in my life. My blog is getting hotter because I AM getting hotter. The biggest criticism's I ever got on this blog was that I was trying too hard to keep it PG, and that was to appease google...and preserve the 35 cents or so I ever had a chance to make that way LOL.

You'll notice, this blog is no longer PG's not porn (i don't think) remains by my definition, tasteful, but lately, the erotica doesn't look so hard to find another word ...I used to be more apt to say how much her taste would make me tingle ...and now I woud rather say how much I love to spread her sweet, wet lips and hungrily devour her pussy ! The archives are still a bit PG ..I hope still worth reading :)

If this is your first time here..>PLEASE read through the archives :) Let me know what you think.

I have been through a time or two when I ran into a bit of writers block and sometimes great difficulty finding time and privacy. The time and privacy are still an issue....but my active imagination is perhaps more active than ever, I have lovers (yes...PLURAL) to write about in both fantasy and experience, and truthfully, I have returned to extremely enjoyable masturbation often ...It does seem that sexual pleasure has returned as a priority ...and with a life of it's own and determination not to be back-burnered again !

This comes after a time that this very blog itself. at times, was the most sexually satisfying thing I participated in on a week to week basis...that writing about sex was what I did because sex wasn't something I did alot...or at least not as much as I had both done in the past, and imagined I'd be doing in my present.

I guess it was a matter of time before this but I began to take some chances and ..I guess it's cliche, but the best way to describe it is that after a bit of a drought, a little drizzle turned into a rain ...which has it's moments of thunder and lightning.

I've been with someone I've written about (by been with, I mean DOING IT) , and with someone else I have not yet written about. I am thrilled with response to my writing from extremely intellectual, friendly, caring, and sensuous women. Thank YOU. As I told someone in email, my feedback is the payment I get for this blog. (I'd love to make a dollar ..but it really hasn't happened yet.)

Some things in the next couple of weeks on this page:
I am getting ready to write about fantasy and experience and masturbation ....(do you mind if I write about masturbation?)

I am getting ready to share (anonymously) some correspondence I have gotten.

I have past and present experience and fantasy to share feels like whatever gets my loins to aching must be blogged about here ...its become something of a need to do.

....and I am asking YOU to do me a favor if you will. See, I am just not very good at promoting this website. Selfishly, I just want more women to find this blog and hopefully, find it appealing.

SO...First Favor....if you like what you see, have touched on the archives and visited a time or two over the last couple of years, or couple of months,or if you are new here, I am asking you to recommend this blog to a bisexual, curious, lesbian, or even straight woman who may enjoy the efforts I have put forth the last couple of years. (that's about as much as I will ever ask of you)

Second favor...let me know what you think...write me here if something was good, bad, different, erotic or more. Did you get wet, come or anything else ? Did you share :) Whom with...and did you relate ?

And again...THANK YOU SO MUCH for giving me some of your valuable time.

The Tidal Wave Of Her New Lesbian Self

The Tidal Wave Of Her New Lesbian Self
by brenda
all rights reserved

just staring at her picture.. ..staring and studying her the lines of her form and curves and remembering how soft she was to touch her passionate kiss…in the sprinkling rain until damp became drenched with no care

her eyes requesting my soul as she undulates beneath me
Revealing ...unleashing...undeniably ...the tidal wave of her new lesbian self
quenching mine so long pent up thirst

her arms in warming embrace as she writhes above me

watching her nails digging into the mattress ...the inner joy of causing her effect

the look of disbelief in her eyes as she saw the look of disbelief in mine the moment we both realized how deep in so many ways

how I puzzle at her notes to me

craving her abundant affection and trust

pondering the wide range of emotion felt between the touch of her hand on my knee in friendship, and
the passionate touch of her fingers all over
....and inside me

and inside our very essance we are joined ..this moment..immortal

Alllll Our Many Lesbian Kisses

Different kisses

I marvel and am completely amazed at, while we have spent so very little time alone together, so Much of that time alone is spent kissing...we just cannot get enough of each others lips, tongue, mouth, warmth and wetness in passionate embrace.
the first timid and tender ...unsure for a few seconds and then...her look told me I had fulfilled her wish

the next now we know...our destiny ...arms entwined this time and I loved her slightly opened lips opening wider...quickly much wider to invite me and allow me inside with my tongue and to beckon hers within me.

this kiss where my hand caresses her cheek, her neck, her ear and her hair while a kiss becomes many and our fires are built.

perhaps my favorite kiss...she is sitting in the chair and I come up behind her....leaning over her...her response...we have this upside down "spiderman" kiss that feels so very good and right ...when her arms reach behind her to caress me and pull me hand drifts towards her breast

and her hands upon my breast in almost every standing kiss...the deeper the kiss becomes, the more irresistible my breasts become to her hands...almost like a game, I can kiss her with more passion and quicken her always follows ...if I kiss her ..she wants my a boob, or two, against her palm, squishing in her fingers. ..where the only mysteries are if she will grasp for one breast or two, and if she will take them over my shirt, over my bra, or warm hands to soft skin.

In seems all of the kisses that start with me behind her ..pushing against her with my breasts and her tilting her head, reaching a hand behind my neck...the wayyyyy her eyes look when I approach her like this...or the way those eyes look at me when we break a kiss from behind like this...these are the burned in images I carry with me with every moment without her.

I love to open my eyes and see hers still closed...i love to open my eyes and see hers open and awaiting mine to open, and wonder how long have hers been opened during this particular point of passion.

I love that sweet smile that creeps across her face if I just kiss her cheek or her forehead..or her hand.

I have this hobby of searching for the most passionate and real lesbian kiss pictures and videos on the internet ..and a part of me wants a picture of US ...we will be passionately kissing, and its like I can leave my body mentally and observe us and think...this looks hot.

Sometimes my tongue goes as deep as I can possibly enter into her ..and responds with sensual arousal ..and has told me to do it more. She softly sucks my tongue now, after feeling me do it to her at first ...sometimes when her tongue goes deep in me ...I can just feel its what she wants from me....saying "here it is...please suck it for makes me wet."

I love the kisses and perhaps, even more, I love the split second moment before the kiss..time slows before the inevitable pleasure.

She is always a dove...never a vulture..even when the soft kiss becomes a hard one when our passions overflow

I love when she says my name after a particularly involved kiss..whispers breathlessly...leads me to whatever comes next.

Our best kiss came in the park in the rain ...I'll hold that frozen frame in my mind forever as a moment of truth in my doubts about any thought I had...where absolutely everything seemed right.

Another favorite was ...after we were spent (for the moment anyway) and on my back, she continued our casual conversation while caressing my tummy and my thighs....looking into my eyes and kissing me between words and my mind tried to concentrate on whatever she was trying to say ..while my thighs tingled and her sweet soft lips pecked against mine while her long hair fell softly against my skin..

Her tongue upon my nipples or upon my pussy will flicker and twirl and can increase in intensity and speed...but she never kisses my mouth with that flicker of her tongue ...always slow ..always so intense ...concentrated..and its like she knows me.

I may softly moan ...and she may...and I wish I could read her mind...and she mine...when she kisses me and even though I don't make the sounds, my inner dialogue is confined to one thought of "oh oh oh" over and over again.

Lesbian Seduction...FULLFILLMENT ...Part 3

This is part 3...the other two parts are previous posts...thanks to the loyal readers who waited patiently for this.

There is no way that the writer in me trying to get out can simplify things. Relaying this story to my readers ...especially one in particular ...has been so difficult to write because words didn't seem to do this experience justice. I know some regular readers are happy for me that fantasy has become reality ...but its so much more than I ever fantasized..thats the thing.

And, I wish I could just write the simplest of what happened posts. It might just contain the absolute basics. I met a beautifulm girl, I flirted, she responded, eventually we kissed, then met again and made love. She went down on me first, something I never did with other women cause I needed to be the "controller" of that aspect I suppose. The first time she orgasmed with me didn't happen with fingers, or with my mouth, but rather by grinding, which was a completely unexpected dream come true, and finally I gave her the loooong, multiorgasmic oral I have needed to give to SOMEONE for the last several years. She is young and fresh and unexpectedly completely into me ..and something else unexpected has happened, for I believe that I am in love. Yes ...that would be the "readers digest" version ...and I'd be done with it. But happened ..and as much as I needed to experience what happened with her, I needed to write about it. It's taken some time to get this done...but I am ready to share part iii with you. It feels like it cuts deep to my soul to write it...SHE is the total inspiration.

Her email---It was fairly long. I remembered in our phone conversation she had told me one of the things she was explaining in her email was that she was NOT a lesbian. The email I received didn't say that at all. In fact directly, she stated "I am pretty sure that I am a lesbian and I might never again be seen with a man ..all because of you. This came on so suddenly that I tried to deny it at first ...but I don't think I can pretend. " It sounded sane, but I could not believe it was written without alot fo the confusion she had expressed. But those words...well, they did not sound like she had many doubts. I think after the talk she and I ahd had, she had drawn different conclusions and rewritten what she intended to write. It made me feel that I had probably said the right things to her ..and that we were growing closer quickly.

"So... I don't know what I am doing when we do this, (how wrong this statement turned out to be)" her email said, "but I'm sure you can teach me or tell me if I aint doing something right. I do know that when we do it we aren't going to just do whatever we've done with boys. I can't wait to find out how much better it is with a woman. I just want you to know that I am ready for this and I want this..there is no way I am going to quit on this now...and I don't want you to just use me for sex. I really like you !!!! "
And then of course ...she delved into her version of a cybersex email. "I just keep kissing your enormous breasts in my fantasies and can't wait to know what your juice tastes like. I am really ready to do this and I can't believe its gonna happen...but I just don't know HOW it you want me to eat you out first or the other way ?....just let me know...I am ok either way. This makes my pussy so wet just to think about it (maybe too much information)?" No, I thought, not too much information at all...tell me me more.

"Where we going to do this ? Your place or a motel ? Do you have somewhere ? I have no idea! I know you got to be careful" There were indeed so many things undecided as fast as this had happened.

She told me she would be off work and ready to meet me whenever I got off work and suggested where we might meet; at the mall parking lot. "Can we meet there and go wherever we are going to go? I just want to go somewhere and be alone with you...just us. I think you feel the same???"
She signed out by saying
"I want you so bad don't know how bad...really bad ! I hope you want me as much as I want you."

There was no time to answer her email that evening before we met as my home and family concerns got in the way of any hoped for privacy...although it was clear from her email that she expected me to answer her. So, the best I could do was a quick line that said "I want you so badly time to write, but I will call you as soon as I get out of work to meet at the parking lot and go in my car...I'll take care of everything...don't worry. Love, Brenda." Shudder to write "love" in that ..but it felt right.

After my mind would let me think of nearly nothing else that evening, all night as I slept and dreamt, and arose to shower the next morning, I needed to pinch myself in the presumed reality of what was about to happen...and feared whatever might go wrong. I was making decisions one by one about what was to come. I decided I wasn't going to force anything, but if it felt natural, I was going to, for the first time, let her taste me before I went down on her. I dcided which motel to take her to, and made the decision that we would travel in my car as opposed to separate cars. I tried to figure out how to get off a bit earlier than usual..and prayed that I would somehow be able to actually concentrate on my work with all that I would really be thinking about. WORK was the last place I would want to be this day...and I correctly predicted, time would never go slower than it did that day.

I wore a yellow v neck that was the one to more than any of my others that tended to not only show alot of cleavage but also allow my breasts to spill out a bit ... ok maybe a little more than "a bit." As soon as I got to a stoplight on the way to work I texted her to say "Is today still the day babe :)" Minutes later, she texted me short and sweet, "I am yours."

Heightened anticipation and constant adrenaline flow can be both euphoric and exhausting. But all day my panties were noticably wet between my legs when I thought of her ...a few texts went back and forth ..."can't wait to kiss your sweet lips...smell your hair...touch your body," I wrote to her. She replied "I wish we were together NOW. Please hurry!" She texted me "guess whats on the radio right now? I kissed a girl..and I LIKED IT." "I liked it too babe.No need for cherry chapstick ok ? KISS"
"Know what?" she playfully messaged ..."MEN SUCK!" She probably predicted what I said back..."but I suck it better !" MY body was screaming HORNY and excitement and desire...and I knew she was going through the same things..and I also believed that even though she was not saying so..she was probably a bit nervous...I would deal with that when it was time.

It came to 12 and I realized I would be off on time..."just meet me in the parking lot ok ?"

I drove to see her ..decided not to call because the mall is less than 5 minutes from where I work..I just wanted to get there..see her face..see what she was wearing..kiss her lips and be off to bliss.

I spotted her car and pulled up alongside. How incredibly lovely, and totally sexual she appeared as she emerged from her car.

I put the car in gear and began the 15 minute drive to the just out of town hotel I had decided on for us ...after we got on the main road I reached for her hand again feeling like I was on a first teenage date. I told her that we'd have til about 5 or 6 to hang out together if she could stay with me that long....which she could. I was only barely comfortable being this much in control. In our casual first minutes of conversation I told her how much I have enjoyed her texts and her emails. "Well I had alot more to ask you ...but ..." "You can ask me anything ...I'm an open book." And so she began to quiz me on her curiosities. "So how many girls you been with," she said with a bit more of the southern twang than she usually had. "Well, I have been with three women , like, you know, like all the in bed everything...well..almost everything...ok? The first was when I was a bit younger than you...and she was the one that I most miss to be honest...long story for another time I guess ...and the other two were kind of one night stands...which I hope you know I really hope is not what we are doing...I don't think one time will be enough," I said exhaling a nervous difficult it was to SAY these things I am always more easily able to write. "Im sure it won't be," she assured me. "So like," she began again, "Whats, like, all the way with ...what's lesbian all the way (laughing) I mean... I think I know first base, second base and third like ...I just don't know" she laughed. "Well, you know what?" "What." "I uhhh ...I maybe HAVEN'T been allllll the way in some lesbian circles...there's ALOT I apparently haven't done know...umm...vibrators and dildoes and I guess positions and stuff....what I meant was , " I paused to consider the words and to overcome the blushing, "I think I meant you know...oral sex....thats what I meant when I said all the that about what you were thinking I meant?" "Oh my god...I don't have a clue are the total one who's been there and done that...all I know is a few things I have read and seen you know." "Hey....hey listen to me about this..." I began as I grasped her hand in mine, "just don't ...DONT do anything you don't want to do or feel totally comfortable doing ....we don't have to do anything ..we can just talk ok ?" And another vixen like moment, her expressive eyes told me everything before the words came out ..."Fuck, I'm nervous...but I'm not afraid of anything....maybe I want to do everything with you," she said as her hand gripped mine in a vice grip.

"I have an idea about us being you like wine coolers or beer ?" "Mikes Hard Lemonade," she laughed enthusiastically. And down the road, I whipped into a seven eleven parking lot and started out of the car...she asked, "want me to stay here?" "C'mon!" We walked into the convenience store and giggled as we walked by the dairy and whip cream when I pointed and said "how about that ??? maybe another time ." We decided on plain lemonade after considering the other flavors and brands...I asked, "Should I get one or two?" and I loved her reply in soft voice and sultry smile, "Brenda, you don't have to get me drunk to sleep with you." Oh TINGLE all over my body! So, six pack in the bag we went on our way back down the highway and five minutes later pulled up into the off the interstate tourist hotel. "Wait here," I commanded and went in and registered for the room in such anticipation that the five minutes frustrated the hell out of me. I just couldn't wait to get the room key and get where we were going. Getting that room key, FINALLY, was the predominant "THIS IS IT" moment.

So..that's what I said after parking the car before we went in. "This is it,?" "This is it." she supplied the answer and a deeeeep breath,and with no words, and perhaps a bit of fear crepping across her face, we slowly got out and strolled to the doorway. I got the door open on second swipe, and once in the hotel room I closed the door and stood there looking at her, drinking in all of her innocence and beauty and in my mind trying to process and store every single nanosecond of the moments..knowing how loooong I had waited for just someone...and sooooo happy that SHE was the one who came into my life and into this experience that, because it had not yet begun, was filled with unlimited possibility. Her eyes beckoned me, as if I could stop myself from taking her in my arms the moment I set the wine coolers down. Knowing I couldn't wait any longer to begin just something....I put the six pack of wine coolers on the mini-table next to the window. picked up a couple of them and opened and and walked back towards her offering her the refreshment. She took a sip "mmmm, wow that us GOOD"and at that moment I took her in my arms and held her tightly, and she responding with her arms around my neck with the bottle still in hand..and like this, we just held each other and relished in the closeness of our bodies together....both slightly trembling...both ready for all that would be the next few hours together....we embraced for a long time..I even began to slow dance sway her with imaginary music..and as I leaned a bit backward and looked into her soft expressive eyes, we kissed a soft kiss that grew into a passionate kiss, with her tongue exploring past my lips and inside me MUCH more aggressivley than any of our other kisses...and passion, and warmth between my legs, began to flow. The kiss broke and I led her to towards bed...."wait wait..i gotta pee...." she giggled, I am sure believing that I was about to begin lovemaking...which was a possibility, but not really the plan with the wine coolers still in the container ..."of course...and I'm not rushing...just looking for a comfortable place to drink......WHOOO." I hooted like a party girl, "MIKES HARD LEMONADE BABY!" I clinked my bottle to hers and thought up a weak version of a toast," may we never forget today as long as we live."

I loved sitting on the bed and just talking with her while we drank for the next half hour...she and I both began to relax...stroked each others hands, my eyes admiring her hair, eyes, cleavage, and exuberance. On the second wine cooler for us both, I kissed her hand and wrist and then leaned over to kiss her bare shoulder and neck...while she jumped and explained how sensitive her neck was ....and I told her, "I intend to find alot more places then your neck that make you shoulders (i kissed and licked) "mmmmmm" "your sides....your tender thighs babe," her deep sigh told me we would soon not be drinking. We talked about nothing really....just filling silences with whatever while we cuddled that way. We finished the second and I got up to get a third for each of us when she grabbed my hand and looked upward towards me and gently, but with unmistakeable message tugged on my arm...her eyes said everything...we were done drinking Mikes Lemonade.

I sat back down on the bed after considering, but deciding not to take off either her clothes, my clothes, or both. The moment wouldn't wait for that...our lips needed the deep kisses we christened our room with and yet hadn't returned to...that initial passion was immediately surpassed and we were very quickly no longer in any doubt about what was about to happebn between us. I just kept thinking about "this moment...this woman...this kiss..this room..this wonderful day." Our first kisses half facing one another on that bed were awkward a bit as we were seemingly learning just how to do this...what was comfortable...and it wasn't going to be right til we fully got in bed...seemingly both realizing this simultaneously and going towards the pillows.

Either she laid on her back, or got some help from me to sink into the fluffy comfortable bed with about a thousand blankets it seemed as we pulled down the spread. I hovered over her a moment before engulfing her lips once again with mine, about to bury my tongue as deeply into her mouth as with any lover seemed clear that was the way she loved to be kissed.
II am taller than Terry by a good 6 inches....I am a tall 5'7". When I leaned down to breath her in and swallow her lips with mine, I felt my boobs shifting towards her and her hands reacted seemingly unable to resist her desire to squeeze and fondle them.

I stroked her belly to just below her breasts and her thighs to just below her ultimate warmth. Each time our gentle, yet passionate kiss would break, her eyes would open and look upward into mine as if to say "please do it again." So, again, I would devour her mouth with mine....her soft, moist lips and darting tongue was something i could not get enough of each second, each minute ..and all day. The more we kissed, the more I wanted to kiss, and each time I tried to see if it was too much, she responded by kissing me deeper, holding me tighter, thrusting herself more assertively against me. I loved kissing not just upon her lips, but her chin and neck, and her eyebrows and immersed myself in the texxture and smell of her gorgeous hair. I lifted her arm to kiss the inside of her elbow. Such a combination of knowing what was going to happen and knowing we would get to everything we were destined for ...the sucking and fingering and such, all that was coming....we both knew it was coming soon......knowing that we both wanted that so badly made the delaying of it such a mutual thrill....almost as if it were a game to hold out to the last possible moment of resistance. While I kissed her and writhed against her, it seemed as though her hands were drawn by mind reading to the next place I longed to be touched. This amazed how much in synch we had become in no time at all. And I LOVEd being touched like this with our clothes still on...knowing how wonderfully different and new it would be when our clothes were surely soon to be removed.

And how INTO me she made me feel I was...knowing we could not have much more than this secretive affair, I sometimes let my mind ponder how far it could go if we could go emotionally as far as we were going erotically. I didn't dare wonder out loud if we weren't going too far to fast...I couldn't dare bring myself to take anything away from how incredible each of these moments with her were.... Our age difference, lifestyle differences, MARITAL STATUS differences, just to name a few...if there was going to be some sort of damage to deal with with either of us, that would just have to be sorted out another time.

My know...the way I just KNEW it would know...ME going down on her and making complete orgasmic love to her...THAT PLAN somehow began to fall apart as she touched me , loved me, responded to me in a way that I never imagined...and i began to respond to her...and those responses led to a shifting of power it seems ....and she began to pleasure me ...and I began to relax and LET HER begin to take me..."wasn't I the experienced one?" I thought...but...oh she was making me feel to good to resist ...the PLAN didn't have a chance at her imagination and fresh determination to explore a womans body..>MY BODY...a feeling I of course knew so well....and so, my mind and soul released to her the moment and control. We rolled until I was on my side, and then my back in embrace and kiss....and she began to naturally overcome her fears and feed her curiosities with her hands and lips and tongue against me.

Stroking my tummy..sides...breasts... flick between my thighs and then my mound...and back..thighs..mound ...tummy..breast...and pulls down my blouse to kiss the top of my boob and then more deeply and hot breath ...against my neck with enough sucking to roll my eyes but not leave a goofy smile is now jaw is just dropped in such anticipation of whats next...just totally relaxed with her...the wine helped...and im so hot I'm seeing colors while her tongue flicks my neck and her hands squeeze my breast over the fabric of my bra and my blouse. against she pulls down...more forcefully ..yanks down the blouse and bra to where my nipple is revealed...i witness its puckering pointedness and I want this damn shirt off but i don't want to do anything to impede her next plan.

How the blood races in me when I'm this wanting....the familiar feeling when my dampness has turned to a dripping desire...god ill let her do anything and i cant wait til its me doing this and more to her. im never good with turns taking cause im not comfortable taking my turn ...i want to give pleasure completely. i need to. every second of pleasure she gives me is both overwhelmingly gratifying and yet completely frustrating my hunger to devour her. she comes up to deeply kiss me again and we kiss forever while writhing against each other...her hands in ten places at of my hands to her ass cheek to pull her closer to me as she humps against my thigh while my other arm embraces around her back to pull her within me if it were possible. i still want this damn top off and my bottoms and my panties and all of her clothes too...another agony of the moment that is only bearable because i know with patience all will be revealed.

I so belong with her and to her at this moment. her eyes are such a beautiful blue and so my heart is melting along with the sexual sensations. My hand grasps hers and pushes her into me down there first..then up to my breasts firmly...i look in her eyes...i WANT to tell her ..that...(Do I REALLY LOVE HER???) but ..everyone knows i cant..i wont...but i will let go of her hand and before she can regain control I'm getting this damn blouse off NOW ...she helps with that and with my bra while showering me with soft sweet pecks of loving kisses and licks against my skin....the jeans are going too and for now im leaving my pink lace panties on ...I'm stripping beneath her ...she towers over top of me and it seems my eyes never leave goofy smile is back but she looks so serious and taken in and tells me "your fucking tits are so beautiful." This sentiment would be repeated quite a bit actually... sure I blush..i never get tired of hearing that when making many times as i have heard different versions of always releases a flood between my legs while my nipples contract and beg to be touched. I'm pulling and grasping at her top and bra and bottoms ...they cannot come off fast enough. Her breasts...gawd her breasts so beautifully revealed to me...large and full and the sight of them against her smallish body makes them appear even larger and more appealing... nipples are soooooo wonderfully pink and innocent. Her nipples are clearly excited but barely...barrely stick out from where they usually rest.

Coming...immenent orgasms...well...they are nothing to fear cause...I mean...we know where we are sexually...everyone in this bed is coming tonight ....its ..ALOT....about the coming to come...its that passion so thick that its like all the air is sucked out of the room and we are both just floating in unison in this moment.

And now when we nude....that incredible feeling of our naked breasts together..warm..soft..smooshing feels sooooo damn good and...simultaneously...her wetness against my thigh as she straddles me......oh gawd how that feels...she resumes the deep deep kisses..i am loving sooooo much how MUCH she loves to kiss and caress as I do. The first time I suck her tongue she is startled ...half laughs...maybe never felt that before ..not like i do it...surrenders her tongue to me and lets me wrap my lips around it to gently suck it...her writhing against increases ...her fingers dig into my skin at my shoulder and side a bit...and I can tell she loves it and so I do this while we continue to hold each other tight.

I remember this moment perhaps most vividly..she is gently bumping her wetness against my and lips pushing against my stuck so close together...i reach down and lift her up by her thigh...she feels light to me and it brings her up on her knees enough for me to reach around her left thigh and enter her sooo slippery pussy with two fingers from behind. The look in her eyes as she raised up when i did this...the jaw dropped..the sucking sound she made as she gasped...the WOW of that touch of her amazingly drenched pussy..and how good it felt to go inside her...and it made us both feel.....that moment is etched forever....I was so proud of that "move" and how it made us both feel that moment.....and perhaps it was too intense for her after a moment because she pulled away to truly take me by saying "I'm going down on you now. ok??"

I almost need to psyche myself to this....this is NOT the PLAN....but ...It's what she wants...and that makes it what I want as well.

I know this is her first time...but she doesn't seem timid at all...she is slowing but perhaps to savor the moments as much as anything. That is , at least, what I did the first time I did this so many years ago. Its the biggest thrill to me to FEEL that she wants this ....I wonder if she truly is my kindred spirt...for I wonder if I have met the one woman on earth who loves giving pleasure as much as I do. Downward she descends with me stroking and rubbing her back and her hair...never have I allowed a woman this way to me and never have I wanted it to continue so much...and so...moments seem like tens of minutes ...she spends these moments below me finding new ways to pleasure me ...different touches, strokes, pinches, kisses....she sucks in my nipple deeply, not quite painfully, with truly felt desire to give to me....she licks the sides of my breast...and my side and underneath my breasts....each touch, tender squeeze and tickle is new and unique to what we are experiencing together in this moment....

With her inching farther below me our eyes meet again...such soft sweet desire in them...I'm insane with to keep cool when every single nerve is in panic state .....I love the sound of her voice and how, as she makes her way towards my mound she "fucking loves.... " everything...."fucking" loving my "tits", "soft skin," and as she arrives, yes, "I love your fucking pussy....(longish pause)...and I can't wait to eat you." Her words are such an incredible addition to all of these sensations, and I can come back with almost nothing more than "oh yes" each time....but when she is staring at my pussy and I spread my legs wider to invite her in, her palm pushes my lips apart and I gasp and "I wanted this so bad." I resist the urge to beg her but my every nerve is raging for the anticipation of her mouth.

I HAVE to watch her as she delivers her first kiss to my soaking might just have literally thundered at that moment...and then I felt the lightning jolt through me..and i knew she felt it too...which gave me a deep rush in my soul to know this first moment of female oral sex through her. Her soft licks grow stronger and quicker and I respond and verbally encourage her softly saying "unbelievable baby...oh my gawd so good." I am wayyy to far gone and am going over the edge in a hurry at her natural ability with me there. I am riding her mouth, chin...tongue..pushing against her in rhythm that feels like we both like it gasping and tensing and closing in and she moans into my pussy woman ever did that before...tingles shooting through my entire body. she spreads my lips again and my gawd what she does with her thumb and finger ..and i witness her gaze directly at my pussy while she does fingers me before diving in to lick me once again...that gaze ...determination...the zest...she imbibes me. And I love feeling her breasts against my thigh start to gently thumb against me there when her pace picks up because she feels this exploding coming to...and oh how it does. oh how it does...oh gawd sweet beautiful woman doing this to me explosive and satisfying it is.
It tickles and she slows down and it throbs and I am still quaking and about to take her now. I pull her up towards me by her shoulders first..when she softly resists I about pick her up by the torso to plop her on top of me....

As much as she has stimulated me , made me come to this point..and as much as I try to relish the second by second delights of everything about being with her ...her beauty, enthusiasm, and most especially, her genuine affection (I cannot get enough), my mind is not only on overload with the anticipation of all that I know is still to come and all i WANT to happen before the clock on the bedside table tells us we'll have to leave this utopia to return to the real world....and I am concious that my mind is folding backward and reliving all of her surprises of the afternoon that have already startled me and surpassed my expectations of our liaison one hundred fold.

On top of her I lay and gaze into her eyes, play with her beautiful hair and kiss, and kiss, and enjoy much more of the delicious kissing. We both know I'm to give her what I so love to mouth , lips, tongue upon her all over, and of course, especially where we both want my lips, mouth, tongue and fingers to be. .....but I am aching ...I want to come again and I am ready to do with her this first time together something I might not have thought we'd be doing ...but in the position I rocked against her thigh and she responded and I was sent from that moment on to let myself go ...I knew she'd help me there. So this tribbing fantasy I have become so enamored with over the last year...enamored is probably my mind not letting me write "obsessed," but its been closer to obsession at times...and ..the way it works for me, is that I kind of need to give myself permission to take on a selfish sexual act....but when rose up and lifted her leg and positioned my wet warmth against hers....I easily lifted her positioned myself more against her mound and found this somehow wasnt going to be as hard as I sometimes envisioned it might be...I could I buck against her once, twice and a third time with deeper desire each time and seek her approval ...and it's the way she looks at me that lets me know she understands and of course that I can take us where we are going. Its unexpected, what we are doing...she wants my mouth and I cannot wait to give it to her....but this just feels so right for us...and here we are ...both experiencing a "first time,' in the act of pussing fucking a beautiful young willing woman beneath me, and me in that I have allllways wanted this and thought it might never happen. We begin a rythm, response, and with her leg upon my shoulders i spread her and slide against her and feel the button with my lips, and push my button against her lips...and sometimes its button to so so many sensations and she's getting there quickly....very quickly I can tell by the change in the way her eyes are closing and her face in that just about to come look. In this experience, sometimes there are guiding words...but so soft and brief and ...even not needed with us. But the wayyyy she says things in soft, thrilled, curiosity fullfilled....Her excitement begets mine and together we are reaching a higher bliss with each slowly passing push against one another. Time slows completely ...yet its also frantic. And as we trib and i push my clit more forcefully against her wetness...feeling her stiff clit against my wetness ..each groping for the others breasts in our imminent shudder...our eyes lock as we know we have found together what we were grinding together for. Her eyes tell me that this is it, then with words she confirms "im coming sooo hard" and she is about to let forth...eyes that beg me not to stop fucking her and getting myself off on her as well and unbelievably, we climax at almost the same time ...with her explosion breaking my mental block ..rolling our lips together...riding each others desire. Oh the deep sounds she made when coming...the tight gripping of my arm...nails digging in her coming set me into something like I never felt and must try to describe as the most perfect sexual moments I ever have or will feel.

After we quake and shudder and rumble together I am so wanting to taste her.

Something is soooo missing. I have never been so deep into a sexual encounter with a woman without my basic needs being fulfilled...I need her nipples in my mouth...i need to kiss her all over...and I begin to slowly as I regain my strength.....licking and sucking her erect and tiny nipples ...relishing in the extreme softness, pinkness, and her reactions to my every touch. She is on fire for more and after only a minute of fingering her and rolling my experienced hands against her passion down there, I cant wait to devour her with my mouth.

I get my hour there. I had told her not to "even think about stopping me once I start..." I could never count the times she said how good or how much it was doing for her...a semi-constant monologue of "oh your tongue ...oh gawd like that do you know me this well." etc.... that subsided each time for a minute before she would explode...the orgasms I lost count of too, but we'll say about 9 or ten. There is just soooooo much pleasure and coming that afternoon....each moment relished and remembered for life. How lucky I felt each moment, each lick, each slow or rapid pulse of my fingers, hands, palms either on her or in her. I ate her til she begged me to stop I'd slow down long enough to let the tickle go away and go back again ....I couldn't get enough of her moans and shivers against me....over and over that afternoon ...soo lucky to have her with me like this.
Coming with her lucky.
Coming with her lucky.
Feeling her come again lucky I am to have found her.
Coming again against me with my fingers buried so lucky.
pulling her so close to lucky.
So lucky her laugh...her release...her satisfaction on her face...her smile...her apparent love for me and what we have lucky.
over and over and over lucky.

When our time was done...the clock spoiling what I wanted was to be forever locked in that room with her ...the holding , hug, kiss, no words .....but these. "Please tell me we'll do this again baby."

"we will"

ALmost completely silent we drive back ..embrace..promise to call..text...and til next time...So lucky I am to know her ...and love her completely.
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