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Question and answers for akiss2desire

Just us ladies in the room 
I always appreciate the questions I get and some meaningful dialogues are sometimes the result.  I think while I am sometimes in writers block for the mix of lesbian fantasy and reality (not much reality lately LOL) I write about, the things I wanted to convey about myself, my closet lesbian life, and the urges, feelings, opinions and experiences sometimes more easily flow from my mind in question and answer form.   Sometimes I share those questions and answers here, while keeping the "asker" anonymous.  This is far from the most erotic post (ie: it probably won't make you horny) but there are plenty of things in the archives for the first timers.   So are some of the questions asked and answered recently by me, akiss2desire.

And before we begin ..I have a question for you (the reader.)   I have 2 friends who are telling me how great the Kindle and Nook electronic readers are. Now that beach season is over ..I am probably late on this but, let me ask anyway.  If I compile my 10 or 15 best stories, fantasies and experiences in a form that could be taken on the go (The Best Of ...) would it be of use to anyone ?   Would it be something you'd (gulp) pay a small pittance for ?   Let me know at or in response to this post.   

Dear Akiss2desire,
I stumbled across your blog a few weeks ago and since then I’ve been hooked. I decided to write you after reading that you are addicted to feedback and also that you actually do respond to your e-mails sometimes. Hopefully you will have a moment free from your busy schedule to read this one.
Your stories are …delicious. I love your style of writing and the way you delicately select the words you use to bring us into another world. My favorite is the one about the woman you were in love with who left you but came back to you just for sex. The way you described how when you finally got back together you jumped straight to fucking, just like that without even speaking, was incredibly hot. I can only imagine the attraction that must have been between you two. I  wish…but you give proof that it's possible. I masturbate, and I thought it was a lot  (that's relative) before I found your blog but since then it’s been like every day, sometimes more than once. Crazy huh? Thank you for your work and for sharing your experiences. Please don’t quit. I’m sure that if you persevere long enough you will achieve everything you aspire to, including your book being published

I would also like to ask you a few questions; they are personal but this is anonymous and you seem to share just about everything else anyway. I can’t believe that you actually plan how you will describe your experience on your blog during sex. That’s just something on a whole other level that I don’t know how to describe.

I just threw that out in the way that I let my stream of conscious dictate what I write ...I was asked about it by lovers and I had to admit it to them, but I didnt think I had admitted it on the blog before.  On the other hand, I don't think I am so self conscious about this blog that I find myself saying "Ive got to find someone to make love to or I won't have anything to write about."   In fact, when I have tried to hard for love / sex ...I have had my heart hurt, if not broken. 

And I understand that you have to keep your whole lesbian life a secret because of your son. That’s very noble of you and he’s very lucky to have come into this world with you as his mother. Do you think that one day after he is grown you will leave your husband and finally have an open relationship with a woman? 

I think about it all the time.   My day to day, week to week, living the closet life as a church going, community involved working mom, pretending to be fairly happy wife is really not that painful...we are more economically comfortable as a pair and my husband, who is an asshole to me, is pretty good with his son.  Our family life, or home life, is truthfully not that bad.  Somebody must know that there is more to life than sexual pursuit ..sexual desire and all that takes up alot of my emotions and I reason that at some point, it probably will happen that I will get divorced, get caught and be forced to divorce, or whatever.  If it never happens, I am ok with it ...I can imagine myself settling down with one particular woman, or being wild and making love with as many women as are willing LOL.   (either sounds ok to me )  It would be such a HUGE change in my life, its hard to believe it might happen ..but I suppose its possible.
  If there is one thing that never changes is that everything changes.

Also, even though you are careful have you thought about the possibility of being caught too soon and the consequences of  that? Are you afraid that you might hook up with the wrong woman one day who might decide to out you for some vicious reason?

GOOD QUESTION and I am living the answer !  I am more afraid of trusting someone who isn't who they appear to be.  There is even a woman I have had contact with recently whom I decided to cool it with before we ever got to the hot and heavy and the biggest reason was a vibe that was just coming across as aggressive and possibly the kind of woman who might burn the house down if scorned. I had skipped around that situation with a lover before, and it was nerve wracking. So ..YES ..that crosses my mind and thats not just a F2F thing...if I were having affairs with men I would feel the same way.

Are you a religious woman at all and if so how does that part of you affect your  feelings about your lifestyle?

I am a christian woman who goes to a very conservative church.  My pastor preaches often about infidelity...but has never preached against homosexuality.  I believe that I have flaws and in my prayers ask for forgiveness for them.  My flaws are not that I want to make love with women, but I DO believe the wrongest thing I do is take chances and perhaps might get caught which would do damage not just to me, which I could take, but also to family ...which is really my first priority. I know that I have been involved in conversations about bible verses that are believed to say homosexuality is such an unforgiveable sin ...I am not the best christian and tend to be a cafeteria christian...taking a little here and little there and making sure it betters my life ..but some churches say you cant have a beer and wine....My choices sure wouldn't be welcome there either. 
Maybe if you have time you could lend a few words of wisdom. I’m 26 years old (next week) HAPPY BIRTHDAY !!! and I have just recently allowed myself to open up to the idea that I’m bisexual. I was raised in a religious home and taught that homosexuality of any kind is wrong. I’m still not sure about that but I know I can’t deny what I feel any longer. When I was younger I just thought that I liked the way that other females looked, more in an aesthetic sense not in a sexual way, and I told myself that I would never actually want to do anything with a woman. However, since about a year ago it’s completely flipped;  I see the beauty in every woman that walks past me. I just can’t wait anymore! I’m literally aching to put my lips on a woman, stop and smell her, to feel her skin against my skin, to know what it’s like when she climaxes for me. Sigh… I have been with men before, but honestly ever since I started reading your blog I’m not at all interested in having sex with a man. At least not for now.
Beginnings: Lesbians Talk About the First Time They Met Their Long-Term Partner
What you describe is similar to my feelings and experience stages of acceptance ...I have gone from the realization that "of course I am bisexual" at a very early age, to realizing that not only would I like for that to happen I wanted to persue it ...and then in my twenties, the going over the cliff that you describe ..the "flip" of realization that it was likely all I wanted sexually anymore...and that whatever I had done with men was for such different reasons that it was like comparing apples to oranges ..while both sex with men and sex with women are both sex, involve playing with the naughty bits, involve intimacy and involve orgasm....they are truly of different worlds in every aspect.  Now, can i say that it HAS to be more than just my little old blog must have been seeking something that came to fruition ..and the realization that you are ready to quit fantasizing and make something happen is yet another one of those steps along the way. When you say "I cant wait anymore" I am rooting for you and now as you are further looking for opportunities to arise, your fantasy may be fulfilled sooner than you know.

I have several issues though. First of all I’m extremely shy and I don’t have the first idea as to how to “befriend” another woman in that way. I would hate to come on to the wrong person and be made to look like a total fool. I know you said to expect rejection but still, how can you tell who is who?

I am African American, not extremely attractive but not ugly either. I try to keep my body in good shape, I’ve got average sized breasts, and a substantial “asset”. I dress fairly conservatively, nothing flashy, no makeup, heels, dresses or anything like that. So I’m not even sure if another girl would be attracted to me in that way. How do I know? Another thing is I’m currently being trained for my future profession at a small school where people like to talk and I don’t want anything to happen which could adversely affect my career. In other words I need to keep it on the down low. And like you, I absolutely don’t want my family to know. Unfortunately I’m not as brave as you are to try and meet random women online for sex. I just couldn’t do it. I just feel that I should have discovered this about myself a long time ago and that time is somehow running out. So what do you think? Am I totally screwed or what?

This is one of the main things I wanted to address when i got this note from you.  You know that I have looked for love in some wrong places has worked for me ..I have been lucky lately too in being able to sense a vibe with a couple of women locally.   With the girl I met who was literally a cashier at Target, it was like sparks flying from the start ..I was noticing her, she was noticing me noticing her and looking at me "that way," and somehow and indescribably we opened door after door to one another til we made love, fell in love, and broke it shattering against the pavement of our lives.   I am at a loss to tell you exactly how that happened except to say that when i tell you I was looking for someone to open a door the day I took a chance on showing her my interest, I would tell you that in the past 4 - 5 years I am ALWAYS looking.   However, I asked the question you asked online to women and in forums as well and got much different answers.  If you google and  ask "where do I meet women will i know," you are going to get alot of "gym locker room," and "join a volleyball league" stuff.  That all may work for you too.   It may come up in conversation with just the right person as well.   Being honest and setting yourself up for rejection may be part of the process.  I am trying to be of help ...but it probably is almost of no help if i reply honestly that its different for every woman, and I went Y E A R S between sexual experiences (and am in a "dry spell now as I write this) because so many possibilities online and in flirtation fell through.  Like I would get close to someone and she would give me every indication I should persue it, and Id get hot and think "this is gonna happen," and the next time she'd act like she didnt like me at all. It is just so different and YOU will find your way.  

    I just wanted to write you and let you know how much your blogs have helped me. I have been following your sites for about nine months now. I began to question my sexuality seriously around then. I was sitting in class when a girl I had never seen before walked through the door and made me melt. I felt butterflies, anxious, and nervous. I could feel the heat rising on my skin as it crept up to my face. I had never felt anything like that before in my life. I had just been waiting for that special boy to come into my life, but he never did. I didn't understand why I never was boy crazy like the other girls. Sure, I thought they were cute, but that was all. This girl changed everything for me. I was completely mesmerized by her. I found your site when I was just trying to figure all these new feelings out. It can be very confusing to get the lovestruck preteen feelings in college. Your work helped me realize that I wasn't emotionally void of romantic feelings, but in fact attracted to women. As I read I became more sure of myself and more relieved. Your writings were so moving that I continued to read even after I became more comfortable with myself. You still help me today, but in more "grown up" ways shall we say haha. I find it to be the best erotica around. I love reading your perspective and you always put words together so seamlessly. The raw and tender emotions make me feel like I am living your fantasies and experiences. Sometimes it is like you are making love to me (I wish!). For someone who is a total newbie that can be extremely powerful. I always wish I had someone after reading your newest entries. Please continue to update; your site truly is one of a kind..
Just so you know ... your words truly moved me.  For whatever reason, the realization of our sexual selves, for most personality types, is at least partially suppressed.  I have been able in the last few years to let it out to myself, let it out to a few lovers (lucky me) and let it out, of course, on this blog. Whether it is clear on the blog or not, I can tell you that I write from a mixture of fantasy and experience.   I am sooooo in the closet in the small Virginia town I live in.  I am still married to a man who I have decided to stay with for now, even though everything I do with women is a blatant extra marital affair, complete with the sneakiness and all the stress that goes with that, I think whats best for my son, (for now) is to keep the family together.  I can tell that I am cracking a bit on this, as I was opening an account at a bank last week and answered a question to a virtual stranger, the girl opening my account, that I was "married ...we live under the same roof, but ...there's nothing happening there."   Couldn't believe myself for saying that outloud  ...and yet was half motivated by attraction to the sweetheart in front of me.  

This stuff happens and because its inside of us we have to roll with it.  I am so moved by your carefully thought out letter.   I am sloooowwwly starting to believe in myself as a writer.  A letter like yours to start the day gives me a myriad of emotions and inspiration.  I thank you so very much.  I truly truly mean that. (yeah ..I'm gushing a bit LOL)  
I am a married woman in the south, married a long time but no kids, who has begun the process of accepting my lesbian side (not sure if I am bi or not) but I do need some advice.  

I am not prepared to leave my marriage, but want to be with a woman.  I can find interested women online but I am so worried about safe sex, since most of the women I meet online who are interested in a fling are not monogamous.

I think I must be the most selfish person on the planet, I want my cake and eat it too.

Thoughts? I can really use a friend with experience :)
First of all ...I know from both my own experience and the notes I get that sound alot like yours that I get since this blog went from a few hits a week to the more than 4000 a month it gets now...that you are not alone.

Since I started this blog I have gone from having made love with 3 women over the course of nearly a dozen years, to now having been with 8 women total and feeling like that is not nearly enough LOL.   I am accepting more each day that I am as a lover and a cuddler and a seducer, seducee, and perhaps someday as a partner ..that I am lesbian.  And yes, I am lesbian married to a man who does not know and what he does know he does not approve of.  So, in some things, we have alot in common.   A big difference for you is that you say dont have kids.

My day to day friends don't know and I can't tell the ones in my closest circle ...but where I have taken chances in flirtation and bolder comments  has been with those I consider acquaintances...seeming safe...and a couple of things seemed like amazing and meant to be "opportunities" that I felt confident and more confident about "going for."
Wow can we be more similar?....I thank you for your friendship - to help with replying maybe I can ask specific questions.

1.  Is there a specific site online you would suggest to meet women? (I am using Fling at the moment)
2. I suspect my husband would end our marriage if he found out, you mentioned your husband does not know but what he does he does not approve of - I didn't understand that.
3.  Safe sex, am I making a big deal about it?  with men I was totally uncompromising on this.
4.  I have not ever cheated on anyone I have been in a relationship with, so there is that tension about what I want to do. On one hand I see it as something different, that I cannot get in my marriage and do not think it will threaten it as I am not looking for a relationship with a woman - am I naive in thinking this? Once I have been with  a woman I am sure I will not be the same.

I Kissed a Girl: Erotic Fiction on First Time Lesbian Encounters As for advising what on earth to do, I can't ...and in fact, much of what I did would be considered if not physically dangerous, definitely risky in that I have now for many years put my family's well being at risk to have affairs ..and I would not ever advise that  as the right choice for anyone else.  Having said that ..I believe when I FINALLY am ready to begin the divorce process it will be a new life I suppose. 

1-Specific Site ?   No, I am a married woman in a small town ...and if you have to do this discreetly, probably the one you stumbled on is as good as any.    Listen, there is alot in the news about Craigs list, but for me in my little corner of the world, the most honest and sincere responses I got was from the blurb I put on Craigs list.  I met a woman that way and actually TURNED DOWN some possibilities that had much going for them but the chemistry wasn't right. I also met a woman from yahoo chat ..and another from aol chat online has been cool and worked for me but risky.   ANYTHING you do, just don't take too many publicly of course...never meet anyone without talking on phone first to make sure its not a guy etc.  

3-The safe sex question is this.   I cannot imagine a woman having something and not revealing it.  Nevermind that what we are doing is performing amateur exams upon one another ...I just cannot imagine if a woman knows, not revealing it.  The risk would be if she has something and doesn't yet know. 

2-4 --The comment about my husband and cheating go together.

Explaining my comment about my husband.  We have been married for 9 years now, but half of those have been pretty much me staying with him because of my now 8 year old son.   I havent love loved him for years...things have been said that can't be taken back.   When I more loved and trusted him, I was partially honest about lesbian experiences I had before I married him.  I wasnt completely honest about how intense and fulfilling these were ...but in general he knows I had that and for a few months we did that thing where we looked online as a couple for threesome partners because I THOUGHT (wrongly) that was the best way to handle the intensity of lesbian desire I was experiencing.  Basically, I can tell you that ...and I can't believe its been this long ago, that when I was pregnant and perhaps hormone aided or affected, I more realized I had been mostly lesbian in my desires since my matter my actions which were mainstream date men, get a husband, have a baby.   In bed, in fantasy, I have given up even calling myself bisexual ....I am pretty much gay and should have known when i was in my teens, but if that had happened, I wouldnt have my son.  So, all things for a reason.  SO ...when I say he doesn't know, I mean that I expend ALOT of energy and risk to our family by keeping this a secret ...  I am as close to a "double life" as you will ever know ..and truthfully, its now difficult to reconcile that. When I say "what he knows he doesnt like" it means that he knows I had lesbian experiences before him, desired them while I was with him and actively sought them (in threesomes) and now when we fight he uses that knowledge against me. He has accused me of having an affair more than a few times and has even said "I bet its not even a guy."  So ..its been ugly ...NO PITY though, I have long known my situation and chose my battles must know the consequences if you go about it this way ..Dont say the girl from the blog suggested you go out and have might go well, it might not.

Will having lesbian sex change everything ?   YES.  ...I think instinctively you already know this.  There are alot of "oh shit" firsts that in a lesbian experience...not just the first one but every one of them, that you already know about without having experienced them.  Obviously a first kiss , the first time your breasts meet hers sexually, the first time you feel her wetness and the ways she will touch you...and you will know the difference in softness and the melting of souls that women have together if ..IF you can climb in the bubble together.  When you feel a woman react to your touch ...sooooo different than with men ...knowing she's wet (not hard) for YOU ...and amazing things that feel good in both sexual but also spiritual ways. 

Can you do this on a "lets just have sex and not get involved" way ?   Yes and No.  I guarantee that unless you have a good "wall" that you can put up, that in making love you will feel love.  I have been with women who put up the wall and left some of their intensity and affection at home sensing this it made for less of an experience in making love. I am someone who just gives myself sooooo completely in making love ...always been that way with men and women ...only way it feels right to me.  But, yes, I know for fact you can "do it' and not get involved ..and I also know that you can fall so in love, as I did, that the pain of ending it can be the darkest day, just like any relationship.  Depends on your own walls.  Mine were soft and I never loved anyone so much as the one I loved, and even though its been a year and a few months now since we stopped seeing each other, I wish often to open my email and see her write me to reunite. You may find someone as well with a powerful bedroom chemistry that because of your marital circumstance, you are unable to peruse in the other ways. mention the "selfish" aspect.  I have said that about me for a long time.   We aren't the first women to seek affection outside of marriage, and especially when it is so compelling as what women are together within the reality of lesbian sex.  If you find someone you can be discreet with it I would say ...based on my experience...that you are never going to know how incredible making love with a woman can be until you go for it in some way...but I would also say that whle it will always be orgasmic F2F, it will be meaningful if you find someone you really care about.  Thats the next level .

I love answering your questions and getting to know you.   Write back and I will answer anything you want.  I love erotic honesty...and the truth is, honesty is a powerful aphrodesiac.
So ..thats the latest installment of question and answers. Love to know your comments . 

The Lesbian Seduction of My Office Co-Worker (Best of AKD)

Here is a best of to run while I work on a fewthings for you. When someone writes me I tend to ask "what was your favorite?"   This is one that keeps coming up for those who haven't read it before, a bit of my vulnerability exposed, a story I poured my heart into, and one that shows I had graduated from the shy bi curious mom I had once been.   

The Lesbian Seduction of My Office Co-Worker
By akiss2desire
copyright 2010 all rights reserved

I called her on the intercom when I realized we were going to be closing the office together, working late as the only ones there again ...unpaid overtime for the company. "Hey Marcia ...just stop by my office before you leave tonight ok ?

After everyone had left but us, at about 5:20, when I had been done with my work for 15 minutes, but just waiting for her to come by as I had asked, she tapped on the door and walked in with those astounding blueish eyes that looked at me as a mentor, always waiting for me to take the lead on a project or with the next direction for I love that way she looks at me so vulnerable and trusting and ...well...young. At 23, stunningly beautiful thick black hair, her light blue polo shirt and khaki pants in now way showing off what I knew was beautiful beneath, with her 5'6 skinny girl stature offset by hips that were larger than the rest of her frame ..and the same could be said about her breasts, large round cantaloupes that defied gravity somedays in her business attire.

However, I had seen more of those beautiful breasts when Marcia and I were washing cars for charity one Saturday morning. Braless with a clinging black tshirt that day, her nipples stiffened by the wetness as if to announce that she was available and between boyfriends, and she knew how good it looked, for she was putting it out there to get the compliment I gave her. "Every guy that comes by here today thinks you are the hottest girl in the state," I flirted..and there is no doubt that day she wanted the guys to notice...and they did ..and I did. She is not a lesbian.

But then again, neither am I far as anyone I work with knows.

But I had decided Monday that "this was the week" I was going to make a pass at her, and early that Tuesday morning I had decided that "this was the day," it was going to happen, and I felt like I looked my best for the guys too in a strapped sundress lowcut with my far less than perfect boobs half showing. You know, my boobs since high school get me noticed and I am never afraid to orchestrate whatever that show is ..somedays a little showing, other days as much as I can in the workplace ....don't care what anyone says about me or about them. Not perfect and of course sagging as I approach my mid-30's. But they've always been big ...and full ...I even if I am someone who doesn't often allow myself to think good things about myself, I at least will say that I can make cleavage look good for the guys ...but on this day, it wasn't for the guys at all. I pulled the dress down and pushed my boobs up and through while I waited for her to come in.

And I was scared and nervous because I just have barely done this ...but I can't say never ...and in fact, since the last time I really "went for it," I found the lesbian love of my lifetime ...or at least for a few months before the heartbreak ....I felt empowered to give it another try ...but this time, with a co-worker ..with someone who could bounce it back and hurt me ...I was taking a HUGE chance. But I had reasoned that Marcia was worth it, and so many signs she had given me made me or things she had confided to me made believe at least two things. One: That she was sexually aware and fairly free, by saying things like "hey I'll try anything once, and twice if it feels good," and the like, and Two: That she and I were close enough to take the chance I was about to take, by telling me, among other things, that I was her best friend, and that there was "nothing" she wouldn't do for me if I asked. I was about to ask her to do something ..but not for me, but rather WITH me. What was about to happen was very very big....either a big dissapointment ....or a big step forward for both of us...stepping forward to the bedroom I hoped.

Boldy and confidently I was ready to make a serious advance
"Is something wrong?" She asked with genuine concern. "Did I do anything wrong ?"

"No... ..first ...sit down," and she did across the desk from me in the fairly cramped and cluttered office, " and ...just hang on a you have a few mminutes?"
"I don't have a life," she laughed.
"Here, " I said while opening my desk and reaching in for the turquoise bracelet I had bought her the weekend before.
"I was in that shop again and this time I didn't just THINK that was perfect for you...I couldnt resist getting it for you."
"You shouldn't have is wonderful," she was sincerely flattered. It was a perfect bracelet for her and when she put it on, "I can't take this ...this wasn't cheap I know where you got it,"
"But I wanted you to have it ."
"Wow ... you know me all too well Brenda ...I love it. THANK you....I'll do something nice for you sometime."
"You're good to me all the time, if it werent for you I'd be here to midnight tonight" I laughed, and we both did in acknowledging we were working pretty hard as a team lately.
"Marcia ..I love to hear you laugh...its great."
"What on earth can I do to repay you for this?"
"Welllll...thats the thing....I need to talk to you about something ...and you can repay me by not killing me if you don't like what I am about to talk to you about.....or the very least, if you could keep a secret."
"Oh no, you're got another job?"
"No no no...not that ...I'm not going anywhere....I love working here...and the biggest reason is cause I get to work with you everyday."
"Just don't leave."

And I steeled myself ...because the small talk was over ....the "ahhhhh" of the awkward what comes next moment had arrived, and I was about to drop the big lesbian bomb on her. And I knew she didn't know it was coming. And I didn't know what would happen ...but I couldnt go another day without saying it.

"Well...I need to talk to you...or rather...I want to talk with you..and I'm just nervous cause I know ..or I THINK what I am going to say is going to shock you...I think."
"Well I think you know you can talk to me about anything ...I thought we already are completely honest with each other?"
"Well Marcia? This has been going on for a month ..or maybe it's been going on since we started working together a year ago...and I haven't been able to find the words. "
"Marcia....(her eyes locked mine and she looked SO beautiful ...and I knew there was no turning back)I'm looking for an excuse to ask you on a date."
"ohhhh", and after a slight nervous laugh and a long pause she continued"you mean a hanging out date or a date date?
I sighed as deep of a sigh of relief as I have ever sighed because of the fact that I had finally said it. "alot of that depends on you...but I AM talkiing about the the kind with a kiss good night or even more is what I was talking about....and let me explain?"

At that point it looked like a possible rejection. She started shaking her head back and forth as if to say no and looking at the ground snapped nervously, even with a tinge of anger "I never been on a lesbian date....much less with a married ..."

"Yeah ...I gathered that, I interrupted, " ....and I'm sorry but I also know the lesbian inside me that almost nobody knows about isn't usually this direct and bold ...but I think we'd be pressure ... no big deal .... you know, just take it as a compliment that I'd like to more than friends...and obviously, I needed to trust you....I mean, hell, I could get fired or you could break up my marriage cause my husband doesnt know just how much of a lesbian (yes I said it) I have become ...see ...nobody knows Marcia ..I am trusting you like nobody else in believing you won't tell anyone that I'm trying to jump your bones (I laughed) and...let me say one more thing while I'm making an ass of myself.

"You aren't!" she injected

My persuasion intensified. "....let me explain that I thought about this a million times and I just didn't want to go out with you somewhere, try to seduce you ...all that bullshit you know...try to kiss you or get you drunk and fucking grab your tits," I smiled and laughed a bit and fortunately, she smiled and giggled too... "its just not me or the way I thought I should do just wanted you to know upfront what my intentions are ...that I LOVE being friends with you and ...I have kinda wanted more for a long time now....just haven't been able to find the way to tell there is no good way to tell you that I like you ...alot you in some ways ....and I cant pretend anymore that I don't have feelings for you that go wayyyy beyond ...." My mind searched for the words in this moment of amped up emotion...." I just cant hide the way I feel about you or the desire to be with you for ....not just for me ...for BOTH of us...I mean ...I just can't pretend its not about ...something more than friends ... ANYMORE. I...Marcia ...(I raised my voice and leaned towards her.)...I'm crazy about you and I've been trying to tell you that forever."

So there it was ...I had passionately, intimately, even apolgetically pleaded my case and confessed my desire for her at the end of our workday ...knowing that whether she turned me down or accepted my advance, that the next day we worked together would be MUCH different ..risking so much because there was so much to gain. Her beauty, her way, her incredibly georgeous and piercing blue eyes and every freckle on her face was beckoning me to take whatever chance there was to take to know the tenderness of a kiss with her, to know the taste of the skin of her neck, the weight of her breast and the sight, sound and eruption of sexual pleasure I would stop at nothing to give her ..if only she would let me into her heart. I had divulged my lesbianism, yearning for her, and shown more vulnerability with her than probably with anyone else I had known going back to at least high school. Now came the wait. A few seconds that felt like a lifetime ....not knowing if there would be acceptance and reciprocation, apologetic denial of my overture, or in the worst cas if I had completely misjudged her, a bitter and uncomfortable end to our friendship. But I knew I had given it my best and set it up so that there was nobody else in the office that night, so that if it were the answer I desired, I wouldnt have to wait for her first kiss, for it could happen tonight ...and maybe more. And if there were tears, or anger, we were isolated.

"Well I won't tell a know you can trust me ...but ...I honestly had no idea whatsoever that you were bisexual."

"Well....I might not be bisexual...I didn't say bisexual you might have noticed....but I am realizing I am not straight....never have been that ...but ...thats a long story...maybe I will write a book or tell everyone in a blog." I felt coy about that remark.

After a contemplative moment of hesitation, with her eyes looking towards the ground, her voice quivered a little but there came the moment of her admission," ummm...I have had a few fantasies ok...I mean for a long time but I never did anything about them ...but IF I were to ever do anything about it ...and thats a BIG IF'd be someone I'd be thinking about'd be someone I think I'd ..." She just stopped and bit her lip fairly hard , fidgeted and raised her eyes up from the ground, but still didn't look me in the eye ...looking past me when she said, "I think we could maybe see what happens."

"And if nothing happens beyond a few laughs, then thats no big deal. We are still gonna be friends matter what."
"I know that," she snapped.
"And if something does happen ...oh you know...I think you'll like it,"
"I think I know that too."
I went sarcastic to break the tension, " you know...get your toenails painted ...listen to Melissa Etheridge music...learn to play field hockey." And she smiled and laughed.
"C'mere." I reached over the desk to grab her hand and a squeezed it fairly tightly. "I'd never do anything to hurt you. Please don't be afraid of me ....I'm the same me you know...just now you know I love women."
"So there is alot you haven't told me..."
"Go out with me ...I'll tell you anything you want to know."

She looked down and shook her head.

"A lesbian date with a married woman almost ten years older than me?"

"Is the age a problem ...I mean...I understand it if is?"

"no gawd no ....age is NOT a problem," she replied, "but not knowing what the hell to do is a problem...being really confused is a problem," and so I grabbed her hand again and squezed and waited for her to look into my eyes again, and I noticed a welling of a tear, "you just gave me so much to think about."

"Why don't you leave all the thinking to me." It was the right thing to say and I knew it ..and almost did a victory dance ...cause that moment I knew I had her ...and I realized that moment I was going home with our first kiss if not more. Same as I knew she trusted me in work projects on a day to day basis, she melted and gave herself to me at that moment. I rose up from my chair and walked to her side of the desk to collect on what I had dreamed about for so long. As I walked I told her of my intention, " Marcia ...I can't wait to feel your lips on mine." And as I arrived at her side of the desk she rose to meet me in stance and I put my arms around her and looked into her trusting eyes, and lowered into her , and met with the softest lips that I kissed ever so gently at first ...and feeling no resistance at first, and giving in and overwhelming acceptance in her mouth opening wider and our embrace tightening, I probed and then jabbed my tongue into the velvety warmth of her welcoming mouth and kissed her deeply and passionately while she and I both went limp, overpowered by emotion and lust, in each others arms.

"Oh god Brenda," she said when we broke free of each others lips, but gripped ever more firm in our embrace, "that was ssoooooo good."

"I've wanted you for so long Marcia," I panted, and began to stroke her back and shoulders and run my fingers through her thick hair while we gazed into each others eyes. Her eyes were half closed ...bewildered ...surrendering. I will never forget the look in her eyes that wonderful moment.

Again we kissed, more passionately than before, and while standing, I turned to sit into the chair that she had been sitting in and pulled her smaller body into me all while never breaking our lips apart. She sat upon me and after a moment when we both had to trust that the office chair would hold us both, she sqatted over me and began to lead our kisses and push her body closer into mine in this new, very very comfortable position.

"What are we doing," she slightly moaned, and I answered, "I don't want to stop."

Now ...I have to say something here. I have a fair amount of experience in various sexual positions with both men and women, and am aware of the power sharing that goes on and how intimate that aspect of love making is. I have read and written lesbian erotica all my life, watched movies and vids and immersed myself into the L Word, and I understand, though do not always practice, the dom / sub or also the dyke / fem dynamic. In my lovemaking experiences is just never about dyke fem with me and whomever...its just us making love. But ...I have to say that in this moment, with her kissing ME so deeply, squatting over me, me sliding down in the office chair and her rising above me to kiss me deeper, I never freakin felt more in control of a woman in all my experiences. She had gone in minutes from being this close to rejecting me to intensifying our intimacy and letting all of her sexual arousal center upon showing me a willingness to do anything to please me, or at least, please us. Its hard to describe this feeling limited to words, but while she held me more tightly and kissed me more deeply, giving and receiving more tongue, and deeper, with every breathtaking french kiss, she was also surrendering to me and letting me know that she was now mine and any doubts or hesitations were quickly gone. So in this position as she and I kissed, I slide further under her and rose my hips in rythm as my swelling and throbbing for her grew by the second. Its in this moment that I have to say that if I never felt like I was a dyke or a dom, for the moment anyway, I felt it and honestly, felt it so strong that the thought flashed through my mind of wishing I had something there for her to ride. My earliest lesbian fantasies had occassionally contained a strap on fantasy, but I'd say for about 5 years or so, that thought was gone and I just had decided I felt I no longer wanted that ...which was especially solidified with my last gf and all of our passionate tribbing. But in this position under her and the way she was kissing me, and I was kissing her, I pushed my hips into her and she "umphs" sweetly into my mouth in our kiss, and I responded with a moan of my own and push up into her again ...louder and more intently into my mouth her next grunt ...and if she it is like this it feels so good and I don't care what the label is, I am there with her and for her.

Our kiss breaks and our eyes lock onto one another and in between pants I am able to say the only thing I can utter, "You don't know what you are doing to me." And she responds, "You don't know what you have done to me." My blood is rushing through my veins like never before, and my mouth wants to devour her and my pussy wants to grind her but I resign and admit in almost a whimper, " we can't do this here." Such a look a dissapointment on her face, which I am sure matched my own, "I don't want to stop....Brenda we CANT stop."

I pouted and frowned and moaned and felt all the sexual pent up frustration and tried to fight the urge to lay her down on the floor of the office right there ...nobody would likely see ...but it was possible enough that I wouldnt take that chance and knew she wouldn't want to either, no matter what her adorable, surrendering eyes were saying.

"This is happening so fast...I just wanted to tell you ....I didn't know this was going to get like this."

"I can't believe what you are doing to me," she replied. "I have never been this wet in my life."

"I know baby too ...I wanted this for so long ...I've been wet for you many nights. In my fantasies I have already made love to you a million times."

"You have ? I just so unreal." I knew it had been so much so fast....catching our breath and knowng what could come next.

"So are we going to have a date ?"

"hmmmmm definitely....but I don't want to wait ...but i know we can't do this here....can't you come home with me for a little while ?"

"You want that ? now? so soon ?"

"Ive never wanted anything more."

I put my arms around her neck and looked into her eyes. I had sure wanted to make love to her for the longest time, and summoned the courage on this day to risk my very job and ask out my co-worker on a lesbian date. In the million thoughts I thought in a split second were included the possibility that if I did not act now, I may never have another chance. She could decide she is "not that way," as my high school best friend so painfully put it in turning me down. I had to be sensitive about the fact that if this was happening wayyy too fast for me, the one who instigated all this, imagine how blindingly fast it was happening for her. I even contemplated the possibility that if I didn't make love to her this instant, that she might think it was ME who was rejecting her and pull away. How fast this thunderstorm had turned into a tornado ...I was torn between damage control, and letting go of myself with not control and reckless abandon.

I gave her a quick peck on the lips and first ran my fingers through her hair. "What are we going to do?" I asked, and she whispered an ever so lusty whisper, "what are we going to do."

I reached down and grasped her hand and guided it to between my legs and put it upon my warm, wet mons that she could feel swollen and moist through the fabric. She absolutely froze for a second when she didn't push her palm into my softness, I pushed her hand firmly into the heat of my desire for her. I felt her go limp against me and her wrist began a motion that caused me to gasp. No woman needs teaching of touch ...just courage and encouragmenet to do it. "baby," I whispered, "That's gonna be there for us when we have our date. It's not going away ....You made me want to make love to you more than anyone ever none. And this, " I said as I reached towards her warmth between her legs and gently but firmly massaged my message into the damp fabric of her excitement, "this is what we both feel right now and will the next time...but baby... But it can't be this way, so I am sorry ...SORRY that I didn't plan for more time with you if this had happened. I could have guessed you were so passionate ...I didn't believe you'd be so ready to be this passionate with me. I mean, if you think I surprised YOU today surprised ME ten times more in the way that you kissed me. So ... PLEASE give me another chance...just you and me...(kiss) this weekend (soft kiss) ...just you and me (kiss) ...any way you want ." And I kissed her more deeply and passionately and with more determination to express my affection than I have kissed any woman or ever will. She had to know my heart in that kiss, or I feared, I might lose her. When her tongue started kissing me harder and her wrist action rotated her palm against my pussy in such a way as to begin to build an orgasm , my frustration in the situation let out an combination of moan and grunt that opened her eyes, and widely peering into mine for a clue for what was to come, I picked her hand off my crotch and sighed a very deep sigh and told her all I could say to sum it up, " don't know just have NO idea what you have done to me today."

And so was soooo hard gathering ourselves in between the looks we gave each other, the hand squeezes, the longing looks, the numerous hugs in the next ten minutes, and a tender, emotional, passionate kiss before we left my office and headed for the door.

In the several days before our "date", I have to confess that work was awkward when we were in the same room or working on our project together. Frankly, all that I FEARED about having a relationship with a co-worker came to fruition, including a moment when we staunchly disagreed about something and I sensed that if SHE didn't get her way, the underlying message was that the tryst between us might be in danger. I quickly gave her her way. At the start of the next day and the day after, you could cut the tension in the room with a knife between us ...but each night we emailed each other the fondest things and the mutual looking forward to our night together.

She reminded me about 100 times that she didn't know what she was doing because she had never done this, she wondered if I was going to "teach her," to which I replied that she would need no teaching based on what we experienced in my office, and when she asked me to flat out tell her exactly what we were going to be doing together, I responded with an email.


You seem to want me lay out a roadmap of what we are going to be doing Friday night. I am sure that your fantasies of what is to be and mine will have some similarity, and some vairance. I know you are nervous ...and I soooo wish we could have consummated our love the other night at the office so that all of this wonder and doubt would be resolved. Even though we didnt come to orgasm together, I want to tell you that the other night is one of the most wonderful sexual experiences of my life. Having said that, there are some things you just want to be reassured about ..and I am glad to share some of that so that we both will feel more comfortable.

The first thing to know is that nothing is going to happen that you don't want to happen. We are big girls and if it weren't to feel right, than that would be that and we could go back to being good friends and nothing more. But leaving it at that is not what I sensed from you when I made my shameless pass at you. Nobody ever kissed me back like that. Nobody ever made me want to penetrate her soul like you did. So ...I will be honest ..if I had my way, tomorrow night we'd skip dinner and go straight to the bedroom. Is that crass of me to say ? I just can't wait to pick up where we left off. When I was asking you out, I meant that ..let me buy you dinner and Mohito ...let me relax you and get to know you more intimately and THEN make love to you. But it seems that we started something the other night that we can't stop least thats what I think. SO ...if you want to know what tomorrow night is going to be like about I show up with a pizza and some wine coolers and we take it from there. If you will let me, I want to show you pleasure that you have only imagined. I want to give you my whole self lips, my tongue, my fingers and all that I have to give you ...and all I want back from you is appreciation. Will you be nervous, YES and I respect that but know that even though I have done this before and you haven't, I will be nervous ..NOT because it is with you...being with you is the most natural thing I can think of right now...but because I want to live up to your expectations and give you everything I can. Rome wasn't built in a day my love know that even though there are a MILLION ways I want to make love to you, there are only a few that we will have time for :) so let that be our night. Let me drink in your beauty in every way and show you what I have been feeling for you for so long. Tomorrow night we will be one.



End part One

Part II

Her wavy hair was done up perfectly, as though she had agonized over every strand in the mirror ...I knew it was that way because it was that way for me. I had arrived overdressed compared to her ...because she had taken me literally and had dressed up for me in the most provocative ensemble she could come up with. Her light blue cowl neck tunic draping low, and a skin tight yellow V neck T underneath that traced the outline of her beautiful breasts much like on the day when we participated in the charity car wash and her body was the drawing card for the day. She was barefoot when she greeted me with a hug and a kiss on the cheek and a welcome that hinted at what was to come with us very soon. While she was the natural beauty of the two of us, I had predictably gone bold with the color in my makeup and style ...I always feel like my lips are more kissable with a brighter red and had gone with a darkened, sultry look for my eyes ...I felt these things I did exemplified that we were NOT at work ..this was different. I had worn a black baby doll mini dress with long sleeves and a scooped neckline, and a carefully chosen heart bead necklace that dipped into my cleavage.

But after dinner those clothes didn't last. Conversation was a kind of forced natural work talk ...compliments to the chinese chefs who made it easy for me to pick up and deliver for the night. A lead in of “a bit spicy,” welcomed the , “I think a lot of things will be spicy tonight.” Oh does it have to be that way in conversation predictable but, yet, unavoidable. Small talk...seemingly wayyy too much small talk when both of us were squirming for what was next.

“So what now ? “ she asked.

“Are you saying its my choice ?”

“mmmhmmm” she nodded yes.

“hmmmm..the cozy living room couch, or the mystery of your bedroom ? Is that really my my choice tonight....I can't"

I was about to go longwinded about why we didn't need to rush and why I didn't want her to do anything she didn't want to do, when she agressively grabbed my hand in hers and said convincingly "I want to go to bed and screw (aw how sexy she sounded when she said " poured out of her mouth slowly.....delightful) ...."Lets get out of these fucking clothes and do what we came here to do."

It was not the last time that night she could simply state the obvious and assure me with both words, actions, and her passion that she was wayyy beyond the "virginal" aspect from her standpoint. She had clearly rationed that we were taking our close friendship to the sexual level, and perhaps sensing my apprehension to just lustily claim the spoils of my successful lesbian seduction of a (previously) straight girl, she was out to demonstrate to me that not only was she in this willingly and wantingly, but even to further heighten my overwhelming amazment at her unforseen urgency to make love, here on the brink she was so anxious and had seemingly even calcultated (correctly) that I would be turned on to know that she was not just there to be "my girl," but in essence, wanted to convey that she wanted to be "my dirty girl." There you have it ...that's where we started ...where we jumped forward, thanks to her, that she wanted to be my lesbian dirty girl. I was wowed beyond jaw dropping astonishment, but squeezed her hand as I got up out of my chair, and confidently said ," take me to your bedroom then Marcia."

In the darkened bedroom, I guess we both decided there was little light but that would be enough, trying to go slowly when it was in neither of our hearts for the moment, we began to loosen our clothes and standing before each other, helped each other towards fully exposing ourselves in the glow. Though it was dark, I could clearly make out her curves, and her eyes drinking in the sight of me nude, and as I was to her, an object now of lesbian sexuality. I remembered this new feeling from my first time, and the realization that our bodies and skin were to be one and warm together. We embraced gently and tingly at first....then in full body contact, I, the taller of us, bending down slightly watched her crane her neck upward at me and fall into me lightly, as I swooped into a peck on the lips softly that turned into more of a hug than a kiss, with me quickly going down to suckle her neck and feel her warm, nude body close to mine.

Her eyes in the soft light were trusting and smiling at me ... I had wanted to start in a kind of way that we left off ...with her upon my lap. So I was first to break the embrace and sit upon her bed and beckon “Come here and sit like we did before ...except this will be a bit more comfortable.”

And I pulled her onto my lap, and for a moment it was gawky but I held her up and took her firmly in my arms.

The first kiss was a bit awkward, not that she was fighting it, but I believe she was ready for a more passionate kiss than the slight one I began with. In fact, in every moment where I guessed that I should hold back a little and proceed with caution, she proved to me that I misjudged her. Her inexperience was hardly a hindrance to passion she longed to give and receive. At first Marcia's lips pressed against mine softly, and I felt her shaking just a bit as I embraced her. I looked at her boobs and realized her nipples were hard, as were mine. All through me the excitement rushed and I told her to relax and to hold me in between our ever growing in intensity kisses. I wanted to make out with her all night because her lips were so soft and her skin felt so warm and inviting next to mine ..on top of mine .....but just making out was not going to be enough for either of us for very long.

We changed position with me pulling her down upon the bed at first with her on top of me. Her tongue kept slipping from in between my lips, to this wonderful encircling of the roof of my mouth and deeply her tongue probed ...I had never been kissed by a woman so deeply as the other day by her, and she was only kissing me deeper tonight. I moaned when she entered me so forcefully, and our movements became more in synch. She coped with her nervousness by seizing control of our mouths and tongues entwined, and I was soooo willing to let go with her. Again, I emphasize, my "dirty girl."

"You know what I am going to do here in a minute," I whispered, and she nodded her head no in a sort of fake "no”.... and we reversed position and I climbed on top of her and splashed my wet pussy down upon her thigh. I lifted my own thigh against her mons and felt her drenched as I was, and I whispered , "I'm going to lick you ...suck you...with everything I've got ....and I'm never gonna stop." Her eyes widened at those words, and with that I began to move my mouth down her neck to her shoulders, lingering in the softness of her skin there, down to her breast and sucking in her erect nipple getting even stiffer as I softly and then more firmly inhaled it and sucked a bit harder , coaxing the first of her many moans that night. "let it go baby,...I am yours." "It feels so good" she said in a half erotic and half giggling tone. I couldn't wait to get to her pussy with my fingers, and my own clit was throbbing in anticipation of all that was to come.

As my finger parted her wet lips and entered her, I felt her clinch up a bit before realizing how gentle and slow I intended to be. Then my lips and tongue hungrily cascaded downward while I gently fingered her, arriving between her thighs, where I licked and kissed and moaned into her. I rolled my boob upon her thigh and let her feel my stiff nipples upon them, sharing with her a favorite sensation of something I have particularly enjoyed done to me, and finally, I parted her lips with my thumb and forefinger and began to lick her slowly, lightly grazing her clit at first, before eliciting her moans, gasps, and cries of disengaged incoherent passionate encouragement of the talents of my tongue. My own pussy ached as I plunged deeper and more determined into hers. plunging my tongue or licking her up and down in the crevice and up to her clit again. She shuddered quite violently and the “OH!” that came out of her when I increased the tempo in a technique I like to use where I am slow , slow, and then rapid for about 15 seconds sounded surprised as much as the pleasure she felt and also made ME feel . She didn't come at that moment but it was so incredible to feel her react and I stopped and smiled up at her and her eyes half shut and in ecstasy slowly smiled back, then her hands on the back of my head told me she wanted me to not stop,and gently guided me back to where I didn't want to go away from anyway.

I knew she was close, and was ready to orchestrate the first of her orgasms. After another minute or so of licking softly / then rapidly / then softly again ...she cried a rythmic "I am so, I am so...oh my close... close...oh god...oh oh ,” and then squealing, “don't stop," and pushed my head deep into her. I kissed her passionately and sucked in her clit, twirling my tongue and entering her with two fingers to coax her explosion.

My mouth could not get enough of her that night and I got her off again and again and again ...her whimpering a few times that we had to stop or she couldn't take anymore or when she told me there weren't anymore in her, I took it as a challenge and went right back at it. This is me as a lover of women. Every time it has been a long time since I went down on a woman, once I start, I do not want to stop and almost can't. Yes, there are times when my tongue gets tired and I just raise up, use my fingers a bit more, rest my head upon her hips until I regain the strength to continue. When the orgasms hit and then subside, I slow down to almost nothing, or kiss upon thighs, or one time with her I gently plopped my right breast down upon her pussy and let her feel my softness and stiff nipple. reach down to enter myself sometimes but I don't intensely masturbate...just keeping it interested and moving the wetness around and making room for more. But finally, after a 6th orf 7th of her orgasms, I answered her plea to "come up here and kiss me on the mouth," and we snuggled together with me at her side, hand upon her breast, after kissing her deeply, laying my head upon her shoulder and letting the quiet amazement set in.

“Are you finally ready for me?” she asked, and I knew she meant that she wanted to reciprocate what I had done with her. “I am not good at laying back and letting someone “do” me ...I have to know that you really want to.”

“I can't go another minute without knowing what you taste like. I have to know what its like when you come. “

“Then...(deep breath) I'm ready.”

I rolled on my back and she simultaneously mounted me on top ..her smaller frame upon my larger one ...easily I supported her weight and pulled her more directly on top of me before meeting her mouth with a wide open tongue penetrating powerful demonstration of the incredible lust, if not feeling something akin to love for her that energizing moment.

We were kissing such a deep kiss and our legs were entertwined when she began rythmically humping me and I was humping her back. It was wonderful to be kissed and held this way was like she had been doing it all her life. We broke our kiss and my legs gripped her tighter , wrapping around the cheeks of her butt and pulling her closer to me that way. We are nose to nose, looking into each others eyes. I had been so incredibley horny when I was bringing her offr for that hour that my pussy was quite literally soaked and on fire. My juice was running freely and as she bumped the perfect spot again and again, my right leg began to quiver while the muscles tensed ...and precursor to some of my most powerful orgasms and usually a sign that the 2nd, third and fourth orgasms will so easily follow and tumble into one another. I wanted not only to feel her mouth on my breasts and all over and down to my pussy, but I mostly wanted her to WANT to do it to me. I knew that I had shaken her sexual world with my mouth and the way I used it on her with my fingers and tongue ...but what would really tip her into a different sexual realm and cross her from the whatever she has imagined, and the knowing of true lesbian desire, would be when she would feel me respond to what she was capable of. Our bodies in the writhing with our legs entwined and the deep kisses were so tightly wound and rocking and rolling together in unison. She was showing me how much I mean to her, not only sexually I knew, but also in the deep friendship we had conveyed for so long as co-workers. We were reaching a new plateu each minute and I wanted more than her to hump fuck me to coming ....not because I wouldn't have loved to have come that way with her or anyone else I cared for anytime, but because I knew deep down that she had had her mind on going down on me for days, and it was time to answer her questions and doubts about what that would be like.

“Can you go down on me tonight ...I know you might not be ready.”

"fuck you," she mocked in a half laugh. Ok ..I knew I was ready, but it was the thing you say when its someones first time ..but she had long ago proven she was ready for EVERYTHING lesbian love had to offer. And I have to say she made me feel at every turn in the night that it wasn't just the sexual and orgasmic aspect ...that it was about making love with ME ...and I felt the same way about her. We were soooooo in the bubble together.

She answered by snapping her head downward towards my breast, squeezing it very very firmley, dragging her nails upwards until her fingertips encircled my nipple and then replaced her fingers with her lips and inhaled my nipple...biting tenderly ..sucking and swirling her tongue while her hand went right down to my crotch like she couldnt wait another second to feel my wetness and mingled in the moisture for a few seconds before entering me like an expert immediately with two fingers was almost impossible to believe she had never done this before, except for that I knew when I had my first sexual experience with a woman when I was 18, that I proceeded in giving her pleasure with no doubt or hesitation at any point...hungering and devouring each new unexplored sensation.

When she sucked upon my right nipple I loved holding her first by her arms and then running my fingertips upon her back scraping and gripping her tightly when the technique she used for that moment would cause me to convulse. My hips kept pushing against her fingers ...the only guidance I gave was in whispering to her “not so deep,” while gently disengaging her fingers which were penetrating me a bit more than I usually feel right with. I wanted her to more dance upon my lips and my clit and in the tangles of my pubic hair and upon my thighs rather than get the finger fucking she felt I must need based on my writhing beneath her. My larger hands could almost encircle her biceps and I enjoyed a feeling of control even though she so totally had me like putty in the palm of her hand and within the creativity of her tongue and lips sucking and nibbling my nipples and making love to my large breasts, made to feel even larger in her smallish hands.

She was moaning into my breasts, clearly enjoying her new mission to excite me so wonderfully ..I wanted to playfully DEMAND that she eat me now, but I was afraid she wouldnt understand I was playing, so I gave it a few more minutes and tried to squirm against her and underneath her allow her to realize how ready I was for what was next.

“Gonna suck it now ok ?”

“Gonna do what baby ?”

“Gonna go down on you now,” she stated while still sucking on my fully erect nipple.

“Gonna make me come with your mouth ?”

“Gonna try “

“You know how much I feel for you right now?”

“You know what I feel for you right now? God baby its so deep,” and she looked up again with those so trusting, beautiful eyes ...I caressed her hair, reached down and grabbed her breast in the palm of my hand and rolled her around in my fingertips again, feeling her surrender, I gave her my blessing... “Marcia ...please make love to me with your mouth now.”

I have to tell you that the beautiful noises we both made the next half hour make me wish we had the episode taped somehow. The thing I will never forget was the way that when she sucked me into her mouth so perfectly, or licked me with her tongue that when I would moan or cry out or exclaim something like “oh baby” or something dirtier while it was happening, that she would answer me a duet a harmony ..with a moan or delightful noise of some sort from her own subconscious of being in that we were completely acting on instinct,and doing it the first time in making love together, so naturally and so wonderfully that the surreality of it all was astounding.

Something I have to say about her tongue. Wow was either lengthier ...but thats not the case...but the WAY SHE USED IT was lengthier and got deeper into my crevice and flattened against more of a surface of my clit and labia in unison each time she extended it and she knew and thus provided a different sensation than I had felt with any other lover, male or female before. She had sense that what she would do with her tongue was to get it farther out from her lips and use it as a tool. Well...see, I think I would be the one to have concentrated on this as a method at least once in my life, but alas, it never occurred to me what this might do. At first I was a bit humored by the sight of it sticking so far out ...almost as an insect needing to be fed. But I loved her concentrated her intentions were on my pleasure, and the way she used that tongue on me had my eyes rolling back and my panting increasing and my quivering right leg gave way to one powerful explosion of orgasmic bliss after another after another in that half hour of pure, deep, fulfilling to the core passion between us.

She took to another technique of just taking her tongue and sticking it out upon my sex and shaking her head back and forth so fast, making contact upon my clit and all that is around it, licking and slapping me there and wildly provoking a surge of wetness in one of my orgasms that was unprecedented in an initial lovemaking experience.

Her tongue and fingers were bringing me ultimate pleasure but it was her willingness and wanton desire that was gripping my very soul like so many tentacles in the moments of the peaks of my pleasure. I certainly have shown, in every act of lovemaking in my entire life, a devotion to my partners pleasure in every way ...and it was just nice to feel that so reciprocated from someone who had every reason to hold back, and yet was letting all of her passions flow with me and for me and giving herself completely to me just as I longed to and fulfilled the desire to give myself to her.

Wave after wave after wave of of my gratification inundated her ...I've seen vids of women who squirt, and I am not one of those, and wonder how much of those vids are staged and camera tricked, but I am definitely someone who after a level of satisfaction is reached, uncontrollably gush copious amounts of fluid emanating from deep within me and the hot, wet, thin wetness that soaked my thighs and her neck and chin I knew were a surreal and unexpected part of the experience. "We should have grabbed a towel," I said ...or rather whimpered at one point knowing that she was realizing the gushing as much as I and I being of so many damn words sometimes needed to comment, and reassurance that she wasn't grossed out. She wasn't I knew then and further explored with her later ...and she told me that moment "it's problem," those words muffled by what she continued to do with such intensity as to inspire rapture after rapture from my loins. But the wetness ..well was part of me ...and it is what it is ..and when it was over I told her that it never happened like that with a woman the first time we did it and that she should know that should explain how stunning making love with Marcia had been.

Laying in the wetness getting colder there on the bed with us so warmly holding each other for so long after our experience ...we both knowing and then verbalizing how much things had changed. We whispered and cooed to each other in caress and embrace, full enveloped in each others affection and the wonderment of the dawning or our love.
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