I enjoy her friendship ..and I am so captivated by her eyes ..especially a look she gives me when I say something just a wee bit adult ...a flirtatious "maybe I'll go there with you" look that keeps me wondering if I could tell her how I feel. From the first time we talked, I felt a deeper connection, friendship, and kinship than with others ...moreso than in many years with any other female. I went home that night and decided not to write this letter ..and now here I am, a week later, finding myself not being able to stop from writing it.
We quickly have learned so much...so that we seem know almost everything about each other ..all that is decent and a few things salacious and no doubt ...there are secrets you know about me that nobody else knows, and vice versa. How fast our friendship has developed.
I dont want to ruin the friendship ...but I believe that there could be so much more. I need to write this to you ...to tell you in this letter because, I just find that I express myself more easily in written form.
When we had dinner the other night, I intended to tell you then if the subject matter might come up. It did not, but I was so distracted by the thoughts racing through my mind, and the slight buzz from the margaritas that I just felt I came across as an idiot ..and then when we hugged goodbye ...you know how tightly I held you...and I saw the look of puzzlement come upon your face as if you believe I had drank entirely too much...or just what the hell was wrong with me. So...as I write this, I don't know if you have questions about me, if you question our friendship, or if I might be reading wrong signals.
But I feel something must be said and ..this is the way I am going to say it. I have feelings for you ...I want to make love to you. I say that having no idea if it is something you have ever done ..to make love to a woman. It is something I have done, enjoyed, and miss greatly ...the intimacy of it and the erotic passion between two women. If you have done it then you know...and I suspect even if you havent then you have an idea.
In my dream world, you are happy for what I just wrote. But ...One of the reasons I am writing this ..instead of saying it ..is to not blindside you if this is something you are ...as some women will be, I have experience to know, very very uncomfortable with a woman youve become friends with coming on to you. I hope if thats the case, you just consider it flattery, and can live and let me live ...hopefully we can continue to be friends.
But if you are interested in something more than our friendship...I want to explain to you that the feelings I have for you are not purely lust. This is NOT about orgasms or sexual pleasures entirely. It's about intimacy, sharing, and for me, I am a giver in search of an appreciater. I crave the look on your face when I have done something to arouse you more, the warmth of our embrace tightening without the unsure discomfort of the other night ...the softest kiss and the tender desire or our soft skin meshing as one whenever we can steal away a moment to find those pleasures. I want you to understand that what I desire in your affection will not be realized in one night ...I want it to be a patient, intense, personal and again and again experience for us both.
I dreamed of our first kiss all night last night ...and here I am unable to let this go. I know as I send this I will shudder ...realizing there is no turning back from this...if you are offended ...I may not be able to recover the friendship we have quickly and comfortably acquired.
As I write this... I have no earthy idea what your thoughts are going to be. I am just guessing that there is a chance that the spark with us I have felt is deeper than the superficial. I don't know where you have been along this particular path....whatever label of "bisexuality" it must be called. I just know what I am feeling and cant ignore ...for I have not felt this much for anyone at any time. Please don't be afraid as I say that to you...I hae open eyes and realize where we both are in our "real lives." But for the chance to show you the pleasure I want to share with you in using my lips, my mouth, my tongue and my skin ...and my very soul to meld with yours ...our intimate moments await if you shall only find a way to take me into your arms, against your breast, our tongues and legs entwined in passion fullfilled.
Of course I await whatever you may have to say ...you know the ways to get in touch . If you need to think I will be patient ...and will so accept as so whatever you may have to say. Just know that you have come to mean so much to me so quickly, that this letter to you could not have stayed within.
I hope we have much to talk about :)
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