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Being Lesbian In The Real World ? Not Allowed !

    Here is the quote from Rosie O'Donnel about Ellen DeGeneres and why she doesn't talk about being a lesbian on her tv show.
    "[Ellen] is not allowed to. She signed a contract saying she wouldn't ... It was on the heels of my show ... so that's why she doesn't. But you know what, she also paved the way for a lot of gay people. Especially on TV. There were no gay shows on TV. She was pre-'Will and Grace,' remember that. So, you know, I talk about gay because I like to. And she doesn't talk about it because she doesn't want to, or she can't, but who cares, it's fine. Gay, gay, gay, gay, gay."

    It is just the way it is ...to tell people who know me best about who I am or what I feel would be the same as telling them "I know you won't associate with me anymore but...."

    I have known this all my life ...since I understood what I was inside.

    Last week I heard an attempt to be funny ..it really didn't offend me that much, but it did reitterate that in my own social circle, it's "conform to the norm." Someone was saying how Ellen was talking on her TV show about hurting her back...and how she only did it when she reached down to pet the puppy ...and someone near me said "I thought she'd be petting the pussycat instead." ha ha .... It is just the way it is ...I have even literally heard someone, a male talking about male homosexuals, but still, the world we live in, "the should all be ...." I have never never never understood how whom I sleep with has anything to do with what kind of person I am out of bed.

    SO..I have lived the whole life in the closet ..and will to some extent stay that way. But...I feel myself coming out of my shell little by little and wanting to take baby steps towards being a little more who I am. Some people should not know ...the usual suspects. But I think I am close to taking a chance with a few....dropping some strong hints and we will see. Scary ..but could be liberating. I mean...do you think someone will get the message if I just say "she has the most lovely breasts I have ever seen," ....or to make it more obvious "that kinda excites me"...or to just put it all out there, "gosh I wish I could kiss them."

    Yes..I have other things I would say ...depends on who is around...but I am waiting for an opportunity. :)

    SO ...less erotic than usual my posting today ... I will get back on that horse before long. Just venting.
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