As the number one lesbian podcast gets set to post something about this blog, I have been looking over some old things I wrote. This is a pretty old post ...a friend who told me she liked my "advice" here inspired me to look back at some of that. I will admit to being proud of writing this How to perform Cunnilingus post. I think I was choosing my words carefully at this point in my writing and trying very hard to not come across as writing porn. For instance, I'd be more apt to say Eating Pussy ! I think you will understand as you read how much I enjoy the subject matter. Comments and criticisms are encouraged.
I got a great email from a younger someone who loves this blog and is about to embark upon her first lesbian experience. "...I was wondering if you can tell me some techniques or give me some guidelines on how to go down on her when it happens. I want to blow her mind , and while I think I know what I am going to do, I was wondering if you could tell me if there are any tricks or ways of doing things that I haven't thought of that will bring her the biggest and best orgasm?" Really ??? you are asking me? little old me ? :)
I am DYING to give advice to women about ALOT of things. I am telling her and telling you that it is just too tempting to pass up . I know I should say, just do what comes naturally and you will know what to do....but for some reason, I can't resist putting in my two cents worth to her and to anyone else who might be interested in what I might think about this subject. I have gotten a few emails fromi readers of my blog and I love it. What a little ego boost this can be sometimes. I guess I havent developed any deep relationships with any readers (yet ?) , but there are friendships via email that seem like they could last ....NOT cybersex ones ..but sometimes erotic exchanges via either chat or email. (one I correspond with is not as interested in the lesbian aspects of this blog as the masturbatory aspects) Well, in the discussions I have had with women about oral sex ...I seem to keep getting comments ...more like compliments ...about the way I describe certain things. I assure you that these do not come in the context of cybersex ..such as "first i would do this, then this other thing, oh and you will love it when I do that." LAUGHABLE ....BUT ..the "you should write a book" comments are very flattering ..and now I have a this direct request for advice. I am sure not an expert and I am not someone who has been with alot of women in bed..well I always say three women in bed in reality, but in fantasy, well over a million. LOL HOWEVER, the ones I have made love with have implied overwhelming satisfaction to me ..."best I ever had" comments :) Which of course felt good as I am always describing myself as a giver and glad to have found the neccessary appreciater as a partner the few times I have been lucky enough to have been F2F. So, am I as qualified as anyone to write about how to m ake love, specific ally, to give head ???? YES....absolutely I say with confidence. WHY NOT ME! Yes ..I have gone from novice blogger to Susie Sexpert. (oh just keep those cards and letters coming girlfriends!)How to make love to her the first time? If you want to give good head ...Want to do it badly. No amount of technique or instruction can replace the pure desire. Chances are if you are really really attracted to, in deep like with, or best of all, LOVE your partner, you will WANT to do it for them. To feel her reaction to the pleasures your bring ..and she will show you in many ways that she likes it. Moaning, breathing, touching, squirming, thrusting, guiding are all the way she will show you that she is glad you are there, wants what you are giving and is "in it" with you. SO ...to inspire most in those reactions from her, start with WANTING them in the first place. Two other tremendous benefits to giving it your all "down there" are that during sex, turning her on will completely turn YOU on too ...usually the more she is the more you will be. The benefit of this is obvious ...and leads me to the next benefit ..as you are turned on ...after having given her such joy, she is more likely to want to step up her performance for you ....you've heard of the circle of love, this is the circle of lick. (yeah I think I will call my book that ..the circle of lick ..it DOES have a ring to it)
Next...let me use a musical anaology. As a lovemaker, you re not a bluegrass banjo and fiddle You are the conducter of an orchestra and you have many many instruments at your disposal. You have tempo and texture at your disposal. You must FEEEL your audience and give her what she wants ...which will be different every time. So that, in making love, each time you do it, in fact perhaps, several different times in each time you do it, you are changing the instruments you use, the tempo or the volume ....are you using more high notes, low notes or chords ....is there a flute solo or a part where the bassoon takes over....or a crescendo where the music drives you and your partner to a furious peak of difficulty and speed ...and tails softly and gently into a whispering soft ballad. Some who read this are laughing I am sure....others who have been there are "getting it." YOU are not only the conductor, but the writer of the symphony that is her pleasure. Your instruments are at the very least your fingers, hands, and skin to go along with your lips and tongue. There are are different degrees of pressure and of tempo and you can think of her in front of you as an empty slate of a music staff waiting for the notes you add to it.Technique ...as you can combine musical note successions in a mathematically infinite number of ways, so can you combine all that you can do to delight your partner, not limited to a tickle with the tongue here, a lick or flick of your tongue there. Up and down, back and forth, side to side and round and round are the basics for what you can do with your tongue to her clitoris. If you sense she likes one of these more than the others ...be like the top 40 radio station and put it into hot rotation. Play other songs too, but keep coming back to the big hit song over and over and over if she likes it. What else?? Spreading her labia with your thumb and forefinger are a usual addition at at least some point, as are holding them together for another sensation entirely. And into the mix I always tug upwards (towards her belly) to pull the skin taught as you lick her ...and if she likes this, repeat the "pull back" action generously. More penetration for some, less for others (me!) ...and what else are you doing with your hands while your mouth and tongue are providing the main focus. All great movies have the main plot and the subplot ..and usually two subplots ..even in the half hour sitcoms. Of course, what your mouth and tongue are doing are the main attraction, add to it a stroke of a thigh or a massaging squeeze there or upon her buttocks. Her breasts are there to be fondled and reached for ..even if you aren't able to give them the fullest concentration at that point because of your main plot focus. A second subplot can be what you are doing with the rest of your body ...how do you rest your skin upon hers ..are you grinding ...are you getting some pleasure from something she is doing that can be accentuated with the sounds you make. Your fingers, lips, tongue and are warmly and wetly french kissing her love triangle ...but there are so many points of pleasure within reach for all her senses to take in ...you will never run out of options if you are into her and thinking of her pleasure as your own. Her clitoris can be...and WANTS to be flicked, sucked, held between the lips, pushed on, teased and tickled, tantalized and swirled, curled and sometimes even gulped. It is your lover, and when you feel her desire build and go over and into the absolute heaven of the moments just before and then explosion of the orgasm, you are for that moment at least, completely engulfed in her soul.
Tell her she is beautiful, she smells good, she feels good and more ...tell her in every way that you are exactly where you want to be. I think it never hurts to find a way to let her know right from the start that her taste and aroma is pleasant to you...because, I think most of us worry about that ...so, hell, even if the two of you JUST GOT OUT OF THE SHOWER, find a way that tells her that its good to her ...for me its been "oh that is soooo nice" as soon as I taste her, and that is enough. Communicate! Open up the line of communication soon to let her know it's ok to tell you what she wants directly. "do you like that ?" and .."oooh is that the way babe?" go a very long way towards increasing the experience for both of you. A technique that was for oral sex with men before I was with women is as valuable ...warm and wet your mouth. Just before your first lips and tongue touch, take your tongue and use friction against the roof of your mouth to warm it ....the backside of your lips as well. If this isn't obvious ..go slow at first. HEY I AM TALKING TO YOU>>>PAY ATTENTION>>GO SLOW AT FIRST!!!! I MEAN IT. Everyone knows where the clitoris is ...you don't have to dive for it immediately. Tickle and tenderly lick and kiss around the main point of pleasure before her breathing, or other guidance provides you an invitation. The invitation should come to you within a minute or two...not ten minutes as you know that would be too long :)
And I say this finally in realization that somewhere a guy is going to get ahold of this...this may be more for them then the women this is intended for. The clitoris is soooooooooooooooo sensitive ...what a great great thing ...and orgasms are great...but all the sensations that happen before it during it and after the orgasm are pretty much not but just a tiny notch below the sensations from the actual explosion. Know that it ALLL feels good ...but also know that as sensitive as it is ...it is VERY EASY to HURT. The pleasure in the clitoris and around it ...well...nothing like it of course ...but..the pain is equally amplified. BE CAREFUL, GENTLE, and without rigor and roughness until asked, if not begged to be rough. NEVER assume that a woman wants to be pinched there ...and a careless fingernail scratch can dampen the sensation for long enough to ruin a pretty good ramp towards the launch of her quaking conclusion. Now I ask you, ...will you allow me to be and advice blogger too ??? :) SINCERELY-_THANK YOU FOR READING :)
Brenda
I got a great email from a younger someone who loves this blog and is about to embark upon her first lesbian experience. "...I was wondering if you can tell me some techniques or give me some guidelines on how to go down on her when it happens. I want to blow her mind , and while I think I know what I am going to do, I was wondering if you could tell me if there are any tricks or ways of doing things that I haven't thought of that will bring her the biggest and best orgasm?" Really ??? you are asking me? little old me ? :)
Tell her she is beautiful, she smells good, she feels good and more ...tell her in every way that you are exactly where you want to be. I think it never hurts to find a way to let her know right from the start that her taste and aroma is pleasant to you...because, I think most of us worry about that ...so, hell, even if the two of you JUST GOT OUT OF THE SHOWER, find a way that tells her that its good to her ...for me its been "oh that is soooo nice" as soon as I taste her, and that is enough. Communicate! Open up the line of communication soon to let her know it's ok to tell you what she wants directly. "do you like that ?" and .."oooh is that the way babe?" go a very long way towards increasing the experience for both of you. A technique that was for oral sex with men before I was with women is as valuable ...warm and wet your mouth. Just before your first lips and tongue touch, take your tongue and use friction against the roof of your mouth to warm it ....the backside of your lips as well. If this isn't obvious ..go slow at first. HEY I AM TALKING TO YOU>>>PAY ATTENTION>>GO SLOW AT FIRST!!!! I MEAN IT. Everyone knows where the clitoris is ...you don't have to dive for it immediately. Tickle and tenderly lick and kiss around the main point of pleasure before her breathing, or other guidance provides you an invitation. The invitation should come to you within a minute or two...not ten minutes as you know that would be too long :)
And I say this finally in realization that somewhere a guy is going to get ahold of this...this may be more for them then the women this is intended for. The clitoris is soooooooooooooooo sensitive ...what a great great thing ...and orgasms are great...but all the sensations that happen before it during it and after the orgasm are pretty much not but just a tiny notch below the sensations from the actual explosion. Know that it ALLL feels good ...but also know that as sensitive as it is ...it is VERY EASY to HURT. The pleasure in the clitoris and around it ...well...nothing like it of course ...but..the pain is equally amplified. BE CAREFUL, GENTLE, and without rigor and roughness until asked, if not begged to be rough. NEVER assume that a woman wants to be pinched there ...and a careless fingernail scratch can dampen the sensation for long enough to ruin a pretty good ramp towards the launch of her quaking conclusion. Now I ask you, ...will you allow me to be and advice blogger too ??? :) SINCERELY-_THANK YOU FOR READING :)
Brenda
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