Pictures Of
My Lesbian Soul
fiction by Brenda
When she came to my home and we began the dance of where this would take place..yes the bedroom ..and how it would take place...my ideas were welcome, but she was the "artist," ..as you read this, you will believe that all the signs were there ...but I cannot believe how naive I can be sometimes and there I was ...I had no earthly idea how this day in my life would turn out.
She bent down to look into my eyes to add a touch more eyeliner ...her arm brushed against my robe covered breast...startled me for a moment ..but then again, I knew I was in a sexual situation with a beautiful woman whom I believed to be at the very least bisexual, and probably lesbian if I could consider myself having any "gaydar" at all. Me, having never "done it" with a woman, analyzing, over analyzing, wondering, thinking, fantasizing about her ....taking a moment to think just how WOULD I react if she made a pass at me ....wondering if I would have the guts to let her know I just MIGHT be interested in her...just how does this kind of thing go anyway ?
I have read enough books with erotic lesbian encounters, and seen enough movies both R rated and triple x, and fantasized more than a few times about what it would be like with a woman....but here was the photographer, Madison, ..maintaining of course, a professional demeanor ..and yet ...the very nature of the erotic photographs I was paying her to take of me were going to require me to be more exposed than I had ever been to a woman. And with that brush against my breast...I believed it to be accidental, a spark had gone through me ...and perhaps her as well.
I made up my mind that I was going to ask her ...get through the embarrassment if there was any..and the worse she could do was say no. Madison was a photographer I had met only once . She was recommended to me by a co-worker when I totally bitched about the quality of the pictures I got when going not once, twice but even three times to the walmart studio to have my precious toddlers image captured forever ....the old saying you get what you pay for comes to mind.
Madison was sooooo nice that day we met ...a great, friendly, and funny person to hang out while getting the job right. She had me in stitches the entire time she did her meticulous work, and was able to find a comfort zone of adult conversation that could still include the young one in the room. Madison wasn't there the day I picked up the pictures from the studio, so I sent along an email to be forwarded to her from the company's website to compliment and thank her for the tremendous job ..and the next day received a very personal reply from her personal email. I was from then on ...on her forward list. You know how those things go. So, I wrote a quick note back to answer some questions she had about my son, and she again wrote back and our email conversations were spawning a hint of something that was beyond was was necessary for her professional courtesy. "What a great , cool chick," I thought when I would get a link or uplifting note from her to me and the rest of "her list" so many ...a paragraph back and forth about once a month for about a year. An acquaintance ...but not someone you'd had drinks with. Someone you'd LIKE to have drinks with.
And so ...I wanted these pictures taken by someone who might have a chance to make me look less fat than I am, and more beautiful than I am, so that whomever I might choose to send them to or whatever dating service I might post them too might actually be sent with the belief that I was not breaking someones computer monitor with my self perception of hideousness. (yes...I know..I have issues!)
And so..one day...I just emailed along and apologetic note for no real reason other than my lack of self assurance, and in the email finally got around to asking if she'd take "those kinds" of pictures.. Her friendly and funny reply was a yes, but she basically said not in the studio she worked at...not through her company, but as a freelancer, she could ...in the setting of my choice....and for a very small charge ...and asked if I would consider letting her use them for her portfolio ..to which I replied that we will have to just wait and see how they turn out.
Excitement as the day neared, nervousness as the hour approached, fantasy as I contemplated possible scenarios that may occur.
The setting was my home, the afternoon was cloudy, and we had about 3 hours until I would have to pick my son up from school. When she arrived in her torn jeans and the braless tank top that confidently emphasized her firm, cantaloupe size breasts and showing just a faint hint of cleavage, with her long black hair tied back in a pony tail and carrying her quite bulky load of equipment, we smiled...exchanged the great to see you's..offered to help carry some things , and I showed her to the bedroom ...."so this is my studio today ?" where she began to remove from their cases and erect reflectors and flash stands ...real professional stuff ..while I offered her a drink and nervously said, "Well...I can't believe I am going to do this...but I trust you...I am going to go get ready."
And let me not forget that when I answered the door, my face made up for "the shoot," she gushed about how " extraordinarily beautiful," she thought I looked and how the pictures were going to come out amazing. Among our small talk about me having the guts to do this and such, she flattered me with admiration for my ample breasts and lauded my carefully curled shoulder length brownish blond hair. My often insufficient esteem being boosted by her every notation and causing my embarrassed smile.
Into the bathroom, my out of my clothes, a check in the mirror and a pep talk to myself that I could do this...take these pictures...what I would do with them ..maybe nothing...maybe find a friend with benefits on the Internet was the main plan...but....maybe nothing more than a record someday to look back upon when I could remember how I was kinda proud of my boobs and believed the men who had always told me I should "do a centerfold," or words to that flattering effect.
Out of the bathroom and into the bedroom in my white robe, Madison was just finishing up and saying "are you about ready ?"
"Ready as I can be...scared...but ..ready nonetheless"
"Oh...you...I thought we might be taking some shots in lingerie...or something...than maybe take some nudes after that ??? I guess I was wrong...you're buck naked under their woman," she teased.
"Well how about we just jump in the car and head for Vicky's Secret right now," I said with my fearful voice sarcastically. She absolutely knew the edge of my apprehension and calmed me with her beautiful smile and sweet voice.
"Don't worry ..I PROMISE...you will be great...just beautiful..and besides...I brought along my special Angelina Jolie lens...just makes every ones body look ready for Hollywood in their birthday suit." we laughed .. "well if I get a call from Brad Pitt, I'll have to give you a pretty big tip."
She looked at me hard..studying me as the subject..."Hey..do you mind...you look fantastic..but ..I think if we go just a little bit more dramatic with your eye makeup..in the light I am going to be shooting in....I think I can do more with your eyes...if you will let me???
"sure...you're the artist..whatever," I said through my nervous smile.
She retrieved from her purse what she needed and pointed for me to sit on the bed...as she bent down, she flattered me with compliments about my eyes...the feature I have almost believed the compliments about through my teens and twenties. "You are going to look amazing...gorgeous eyes, fantastic," she said as she applied the finishing touches...and then....there was that brush of my breast....it tickled...but right against my nipple, it stiffened and an electric charge traveled through my body. The first brush....had to be accidental....but...the second time she did it ...now that seemed to have a purpose. Was she testing me? Might something more than a photographic adventure be in the cards this afternoon?
And so it began...
"Why don't you take your robe off..and lets start by just leaning over the bed..with your body faced that way (away from her and the super sophisticated camera she picked up out of it's case) ...and so...I turned my back....down came the robe...which I draped on the chair in the corner as I took a deep "this is it" breath as I contemplated my complete exposure. She began clicking...."oh I am such a fashion model," I laughed..." should I just stand here or move or what" ...
"need your movements to be very slow...exaggerated..." and she began to choreograph my movements ...."now turn towards me" This moment exposed my breasts to her for the first time, and she commented with conviction..."oh THEY ARE LOVELY.>WOW," She commanded my poses and lightened the weight of the air in the room, "and go ahead and drop your chin...open your mouth slightly..but don't smile" And I am embarrassed..and thinking..."I CANT STOP SMILING>>>THIS IS SO WEIRD.>>WHY AM I DOING THIS>>> "
She had me lay back on the bed..shift positions ...muss my hair ...turn away and turn back ...lift my knees and tilt every which way, while she traveled from one side of the bed to the other..to the foot of the bed..clicking away...saying encouraging things..."beautiful...push your breast up now...marvelous..just like that...you're amazing...do that again." and my favorite..."just look at this camera like you are going to give it the screwing of it's lifetime...got it? You know..make love to the camera. Give it up ....this camera wants you to put it out there babe...just beautiful"
And YES...it makes one horny to be doing this...and the mind races...and as the minutes and poses continued...my nervousness began to go away..and never out of the back of my thoughts was the wondering if there was just a chance that I was inspiring HER to feel a little tingly as well. And what if that was the case. ?? It's not professional ...right ? She wouldn't, We couldn't...I've never. Oh my gosh the thought of it....almost as if my mind is scolding me for thinking the lesbian thoughts I couldn't stop from filtering into my conscious. That little "maybe I'd be interested," was becoming an urge towards a fantasy fulfilled.
Madison suddenly did something I didn't expect...I screamed a playful scream...as she said "watch out now," as she slid quickly out of her shoes and barefoot, she hopped and bounced onto the bed and stood up at the headboard, standing over me and shooting down. I giggled and thought what a surreal experience this was becoming. "Look up to me...look right here...now down....pull the shoulder back...lift your hips just a bit..beautiful." What a wonderful experience she was making this...made me feel so incredibly special...and I was so so glad that I had asked Madison to do this with me. She clearly loved her work...and we were having our moments. And yes..the fantasies...I did begin to wonder when it would end...and how it would end as well. I began to wonder how to flirt with her. I was even becoming horny enough to possibly be very direct with her if some opportunity in conversation arrived.
Throughout the session...I would be running my hands and fingers over my body...a couple of times, when I lifted a breast or both, her most enthusiastic "YES" would come from her. If she only knew how MUCH I loved the way she admired my breasts...was a total turn on.
And I was getting more and more aroused...and my fingers went from dipping down playfully...to dipping down and touching..just brushing my clit in its demand for attention.....but things took a turn as she stood over top of me on the bed. When I went down to let my fingers brush my pussy...this time inhibitions abandoned, I began to busy my finger a little on my button. "thats GREAT, don't be afraid to let go" she said but this time what she said came with a different voice...and the weight in the room felt a bit heavier I sensed for both of us, and a with noticeably slightly shocked and huskier voice ...."Im sorry..is this ok?" ..Those words came out of me in a bit of a pant, and I know she knew I had started something that would probably now need to be finished in some way. "You do whatever you want," she replied .."In fact ..the lens has been reflecting how you are really glistening down there since we started this.....its very obvious to the lens that you're into this...just keep going...forget im here if you want,....yeah i know..easier said than done."
"Maybe I LIKE that you're here," my ambitious flirtatious moment had arrived.
Blush /// awkward /// cant stop //or don't want to.
She climbed down off the bed and continued to choose her angles tastefully...but as she arrived at the foot of the bed, my two fingers plunged within, and I was starting to abandon my shyness.
"you want me to shoot this..right ?"
"it's up to you"
" I mean...we've crossed over from playboy, to penthouse ...and we can go to x rated if you want me to..im just making sure its what you want?"
"I dont even know what I want right now..." I panted...my pussy throbbing, my nipples erect and straining upward.
"well...ummm...you know...girl I can help you out with that ..?"
I knew that was the moment and I knew what i said next would determine much...
"with this?" I said with a helpless look on my face
She said nothing..just nodded.
"I've never done anything with a woman,"
"Well...I respect that....don't do anything you dont want to do...you've come this far with me and I just want to know .....ummm...I hope its ok if I say this..>VERY unprofessional...but...I just want to know what its like when you come.....and all you have to do...ALL you have to do girl, you can just lay there and let me finish what you've started....I promise I won't bite"
I was just waiting for the obligatory "too hard..."
My fingers instinctively pulled away from my pussy...I ached for more that very moment...I DID want her...and was soooo thankful she took that first step. I may never know what would have happened had the push forward had been left to my devices. Probably nothing, because I am such a chicken.
"oh my gawd.....Madison...yeeeesssss," the words slipped slowly out of my mouth..."as long as I can...well ...you HAVE to let me do something to you too ok ?"
"Doesn't always work like that with me," she said as she laid the camera on the dresser and came towards me, full clothed, and easing onto the bed approached my wetness with her beautiful face, her eyes focused on me down there..and she kissed my thighs...nuzzled me and took a deep breath....put her hands up under my cheeks and began to slowly twirl her tongue around my lips, my clit, and my fingers clinched around her shoulders in the most enjoyable sexual moment of my life to that point. I about had to pinch, but I was not dreaming and it was the most incredible feeling right from the start and only got better. As aroused as I was...I was at her tongues mercy as to when the teasing would put me over the edge to orgasm. That moment was a tall tower building on top of itself to glorious heights, and when she buried her face and kissed my pussy deeply, with unabated passion and a more furious and focused desire of her tongue, my rumbling, moaning, quaking convulsion sent the blood rushing so swiftly through my veins that I felt I could easily lose consciousness. I was moaning loudly and she too was moaning muffled into me down there...her palms massaging and lifting my buttocks again and again against her lips and tongue and warm breath. Again and again she rolls her tongue up and down against me there...slowly backing me down only to lift me towards another peak soon after. The exact moment it becomes too sensitive to take, she knows, she feels it, and she kisses me aside, massages my breasts, or gently kisses me until the passion builds again and into her face I thrust and shudder again ...and again...and again....and through it all...I wonder when it will end...but she keeps going and going ...."you need to stop," I say , and it only serves for her to slow for a moment before diving back in "I can't get enough of your pussy."
Finally she stops...slowly rises..her face is soaked with my sex, the sheet beneath my hips is a lake, my whole body tingles and emotionally I don't know whether to hysterically laugh or sob in tears of joy for the release I have been guided through. "THAT WAS SOOOOO GOOD MADISON! I have never come like that in all my life....oh my god...so good." She is reaching back for the camera...I know my hair is as mussed as it has ever been ..EVER..."NOOO!" "oh come on...its just for me...you're glowing." ..."Ohhhhallright." She snaps the picture and I bury my face in my pillow and try to believe what has just happened.
"Come here...." I motion and she approaches the head of the side of the bed I am more towards...I reach towards her thigh...stroke it...our eyes meet. Her hand clasps mine and we smile together. I am touching her thigh and my glance glides down her body, examining her breasts, and a strong longing to experience in my mouth what hers experienced with me moments ago. She takes my hand from her thigh and together our fingers lift to touch towards her crotch...she seems to resist for a confusing moment.... and I look again into her eyes..."you don't have to...." "I NEED to Madison...." and so she guided my hand against her mound and pushed my fingers into her...such warmth...such softness...a moment I massage there, then I put my fingers into the waistband of her jeans and give it a tug. "take this off."
She steps back...undoes the snap and down come the jeans as well as the thong underneath. She leaves her top on. again approaches the bed, and this time when I reach for her thigh, no fabric ...just the softest skin...the sight of her trimmed but not shaven bush....The whole room smells like my sex but her scent has entered our senses now...once again standing next to the bed I am laying on...I resume the touch of her thigh, now soft warm skin...and as my fingers tiptoe upwards towards her wetness..."So....are you gay, or bisexual....this isn't YOUR first time right?"
"I hate labels ...but if you have to put a sticker on me its gay...." "no labels for me today either....just an amazing day."
Again she takes my timid hand and gives it a confident squeeze...lays my palm and three middle fingers on her and as she did before, pushes firmly into where she needs my affection. The first touch of another womans pussy...I should emphasize....another woman's VERY AROUSED and WET vagina....is the thrill I will always most remember about this experience. And her immediate reaction... Her head tilted back as I entered...I circled her clit with my finger and thumb...and she pushed against me. And I am thinking..."do I know how to do this?? of course I do...right ?" She ends the awkwardness of her standing while I am laying by getting into the bed....her eyes gazing into mine, and mine into hers with the lust overcoming us. As she lay down next to me, I scoot to make more room, and she encircled my larger body with her soft arms ...pulled close against my breasts and began to softly..this divine clinch so passionate...soo softly this first kiss with a woman... this kiss is the best ever kiss I know.
I am realizing while her tongue dances against my lips and into my mouth, that my timid inhibitions have easily morphed into a phonemenal, powerful urge to demonstrate my newfound devotion to her. In this glorious kiss, her hands reach behind my head, into my hair and she rolls her fingers into my scalp and downwards to my neck, intensifying and awakening these newfound emotions, and rekindling the swollen throb between my legs...while my mind struggles between whether or not to continue to read her cues or aggressively pursue my ever deepening need to taste her body.
I instinctively begin to knead her breast as she kisses me deeper still....I am in utter ecstasy with all of these sensations whirling through my mind and body. I roll in this kiss with her to where she now lays on her back and begin to kiss her neck...gently sucking..."oh of course she loves this as I do," I think...and I lift her top enough to expose her beautiful breast....lower my head to take her erect nipple between my lips and swirl my tongue in a moment that feels like a foggy slow motion dream sequence in movie. Whatever "I'm not a lesbian," denials that were present when Madison arrived that day are now completely replaced with my "I am sooooooo into this," realization, now blazing in my mind, body and soul.
She pulls me against her chest as my mouth smothers her breast with concentrated abandonment ...she encourages me and I emphasize that she says more as a slightly whimpering breathless REQUEST, not a demand, in saying "eat my pussy now."
With one more look of puppy love into her eyes, I descend down the bed...we make our comfort and there so close before me her magnificent womanhood...a sight, a smell, and a startling realization of just how far this has gone and is about to go.
My lips press against her wetness...I am a bit stunned at how easily this quickly comes to me as the single most gratifying sexual moment I have ever known. I am a giver in every aspect of my life, especially in bed, and with no regard to whatever in my life had kept me from ever doing what I was about to do, I begin to lick her, spread her lips, enter her with a finger and with every sense I know, smell, touch, taste ...the visual beauty in the clinical closeup of another womans sex against my lips and cheeks, and the sounds of her breathing, softly moaning as my tongue dances on my photographer friend ...my lover.
All thoughts collide...am I good at this as I am thinking...how do i measure up to others who have done this...what was HER first time like, how many lovers has she had, ...along with, wonder if this feels better, or this...i KNOW she loves this like I do, ...and how will we both react when she orgasms. These and a million other thoughts crowding the concentration of my licking and sucking...but the LOUDEST thought of all in my mind...actually two thoughts, are please don't let this end...and please dont let this be the last time. I want her like this ...I want this day to loop and repeat ...how beautiful she has made me feel, how incredibly rewarding it is giving a woman I so like in every way besides sex, now writhing and responding to her pleasure I create while savoring every second of my reciprocation of the most amazing bliss of her tongue against me just minutes before.
She shows me signs of nearing orgasm...I can feel her coming soon...it causes me to feel a rush all through my body, pulsating from my own softly throbbing pussy in this delightful sharing of our souls. Her rapture gushes and quakes against my lips, my chin, he thighs squeeze against me...her hips rolling up and down against me in our juicy gift of shared joy. How nothing I had ever done compared to the rush of her unrestrained outburst of her release. I rode every quake and ripple with my lips and tongue against her clit ...so powerful the rage of release...and even more powerful, the quiet calming of her thunder subsiding.
Against me she lays...her head against my soft breast...an occasional kiss against my skin...our fingers in hair, against arms and backs and necks in lingering bliss for moments I wish would never end....but...the comforting embrace gives way to the encore performance ...and with her every encouraging compliment, or erotic remark, or the many sexual signs of appreciation she grants me, she awakens me that day into the rest of my lesbian life...with the images forever in my mind, and the photographs of the last moments before I came to know my lesbian self.
fiction by Brenda
2008 all rights reserved
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